The Possibility Of A Narcissistic Mother

Do you want to learn ‘How to heal from a narcissistic mother’?

We generally consider a mother an epitome of tenderness, comfort, and support.

She is often an unsung hero and forms the bedrock of any family.

For most of us, mothers are a personification of unconditional love.

They bring us into this world, care for us, and make sacrifices to raise us in the best possible manner.

However, not everyone is blessed with a great mother.

Some mothers contrast entirely with the loving and selfless nature often synonymous with mothers.

One such type of mother is a narcissistic mother.

Narcissistic mothers are selfish, self-obsessed, and self-involved to the extent that they are not bothered about their children’s or their family’s well-being.

Most people find it very hard to acknowledge that a flawed version of a mother even exists.

So, the children of narcissistic mothers also grow up believing their mothers are the best.

But by the time they come to terms with the reality, much damage has already been done to them and their lives.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother leaves deep scars on your psyche. It is essential to learn how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

If you are one of such individuals who were deeply affected by their narcissistic mother, do not worry anymore.

Let’s find out how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

How To Heal From A Narcissistic Mother

The answer to ‘How to heal from a narcissistic mother’ lies in a 9-step solution.

It’s a detailed guide to get you completely healed from your narcissistic mother and help you become your true self.

Realize That You Have A Narcissistic Mother

The first step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to realize that you have a narcissistic mother.

Every child thinks that their mother loves them more than themselves.

They do not imagine in their wildest dreams that their mother can be a narcissist.

But sometimes, the reality is very different from what we believe.

And if you want to live a decent life, you must realize the truth sooner or later.

Thus, seeing your mother as a human being and not a godly figure is imperative.

Only when you can do this can you spot the traits in her that have been harming you.

So, look at her and her behavior from an impartial viewpoint.

If she has the following traits in her, she is a narcissistic mother:

• She is exceedingly proud and has a very high self-image of herself.

•  She feels threatened by her children’s growth, as it could mean the end of her influence over them.

• She is generally angry and critical of everything and everyone around her.

• She is vocal about her life’s hardships and how people have let her down and made her miserable.

• She dominates your father, belittles him, and gives no importance to him or his efforts.

• She constantly reminds you of what she has done for you and demands your recognition and admiration.

• She wants you to learn about her unique ways of doing things and lifestyle.

• She always advises on everything you do and wants you to follow them strictly.

• She has a lot of burdensome expectations from you, especially financially.

• She feels that everyone around her, including you, is there to serve her and satisfy her needs.

• Outsiders are more important to her than you or any other family member.

• She tries to make you feel guilty if  things don’t go her way.

• She often punishes you by not talking to you or taking back all support.

• She often shames you for your weaknesses, doesn’t let you improve by reminding you of them, and is responsible for low self-esteem within you.

• She distorts the truth at her convenience to make you feel at fault.

• She has no emotional connection or understanding of your feelings.

If you can relate to most of the above-listed things, you need to recognize that you have a narcissistic mother.

When you realize you have a narcissistic mother, you have completed the first step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Accept That Your Mother Is A Narcissist

The next step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to accept that your mother is a narcissist.

Realizing and accepting that one’s mother is a narcissist are entirely two different challenges.

Realizing that your mother is a narcissist needs you to observe her behavior.

But accepting needs a lot more than that.

It needs you to have inner strength, which you may lack as you have grown up under the influence of a narcissistic mother.

Accepting that your mother is a narcissist might be a big blow to you psychologically.

It may throw you in a state of shock and total disarray.

Mothers are usually the biggest inspiration and source of love in one’s life.

Even if it wasn’t true for you in substance, the mental peace and support it gave you is precious.

But no good can come from mental peace based on falsehoods or ignorance.

Thus, it would help if you accepted that you have a narcissistic mother so that you can start learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

It may destabilize your world for a while, but it also gives you the chance to live your authentic life and thus have a better life.

It will prepare you to take the vital steps that you need to take after realizing that you have a narcissistic mother.

When you have accepted you have a narcissistic mother; you have completed the next step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Get Away From Your Narcissistic Mother

The next step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to get away from your mother.

When you have spent the initial times of your life with a narcissistic mother, you might have developed various issues within you.

You need a reasonable amount of time and effort to get healed, but to begin doing so, you first need to get away from your narcissistic mother. 

If you continue to live with her, her influence will persist, making you stuck in the same pattern.

It will also keep reminding you of all that you have been through and how your mother has made life hard for you.

It may make you feel negative, frustrated, and hopeless, preventing you from starting the healing process.

Thus, to start healing, you first need to bring an end to the influence of your narcissistic mother on you.

So, it would help if you moved out as soon as possible.

You can go to boarding school, start living alone in a different place, or move in with a friend.

It would provide you with a real chance to get healed from your narcissistic mother.

When you get away from your narcissistic mother, you have completed the next step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Come Out Of The Emotional Connect With Your Narcissistic Mother

The next step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to come out of the emotional connection you have with your mother.

She may not have been the best mother to you, but for you, she has been your mother.

You must have been connected to her emotionally on a deep level.

That is why she could deeply dent you with her selfish ways.

If you continue to hold onto that emotional bond you have with your narcissistic mother, you will not be able to heal.

You will never try to find out how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Instead, you will keep feeling guilty and needy of being controlled by her.

The self-doubt and guilt that she has fed within you will keep troubling you.

It will eventually make you go where you had come from.

Thus, it would help if you overcome your emotional connection with her.

It’s not an ideal situation to break the bond you share with someone who holds such an essential place in your life.

But you also need to realize you don’t have any other option.

It would be best to let go of the bonds that get rotten and pull you backward.

You don’t need to abandon her altogether but take some tough steps.

To be able to do so, you have to feed yourself with the thought that there is a world beyond her that is waiting for you.

It’s a world that holds great things and people you deserve.

Moving out and living away from your narcissistic mother for a considerable amount of time will help you overpower this emotional bond with her.

During this time, you should ensure that you come in minimal contact with her in any way.

If possible, stay away from her altogether.

Since you have remained under her influence for so long, you need to give your efforts a big push to break free from that influence.

This big push will help you come out of the emotional connection you have with your narcissistic mother.

When you have come out of the emotional connection with your narcissistic mother, you have completed the next step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Find A Loving Person

The next step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to find a loving person.

Love is always the most significant need of a human being.

Thus, it should be your biggest priority, too.

A lack of love in life may push you deeper into loneliness and despair than you already are.

Thus, when you have emotionally detached yourself from your narcissistic mother, you need to replace it with someone who truly loves you.

Finding a loving person in your life is crucial so that they can help you heal faster.

This person will be your most significant support when you are trying to learn how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

So, find someone capable of loving you with all their heart.

It may be a family member, a good friend, or a lover.

But if you do not find that person, there is nothing to worry about. You can put your faith in God to support you.

You have to feel that reassuring hand on your shoulder while trying to heal yourself, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a person’s.

So, find that source of infinite love that could help you heal from your narcissistic mother.

When you find a loving person in life, you have completed the next step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Assess The Damage Done To You

The next step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to assess the damage done by her to you.

To heal yourself, you first need to know the issues that you have within you because of your narcissistic mother.

Generally, people who have lived with a narcissistic mother have three types of problems.

The first problem is that by learning it from your mother, you may have become a narcissist.

But if that were the case, you wouldn’t have seen narcissism as a problem.

You may not have doubted or known that your mother was a narcissist.

Thus, you would have gone about your life as a narcissist without much problem.

But since you do realize that your mother is a narcissist, you are not one.

The next problem that you may have caught because of living with a narcissistic mother is one or more of the following issues.

These issues may include negative emotions like fear, low self-esteem, loneliness, or self-sabotage.

There may also be problems like stammering or self-harm.

Most of the time, you can overcome negative emotions by yourself.

But if you have psychological issues that are making you harm yourself, you need to see an expert at the earliest.

The third and foremost problem that you may face as a result of living with a narcissistic mother is becoming the opposite of what she is – an echoist.

When the family has a narcissist, it has to maintain balance by making someone an echoist.

An echoist is a person who is least concerned about his own needs and always puts others’ needs above theirs.

Narcissists often produce echoists around them to feel good about themselves. 

Thus, you might have become an echoist.

It must have made you feel unworthy of love, creating a shortage of self-love within you.

And this is what needs to be corrected within you to heal you from a narcissistic mother.

When you have assessed the damage done to you, you have completed the next step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Work On Yourself To Get Healed

The next step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to work on yourself to get healed.

When you have lived with a narcissistic mother, you need someone to heal you out of echoism.

You must learn to love, start living for yourself, and prioritize your needs first.

When you do these things, every other psychological issue discussed in the last point will heal independently.

So, love yourself by pursuing self-love activities and thus making self-love a habit.

As self-love rises within you, you will get more and more healed from your narcissistic mother.

When you have worked on yourself to get healed, you have completed the next step of learning how to recover from a narcissistic mother.

Build Yourself Up For A Good Life

The next step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to build yourself up.

When you are entirely out of the influence of your narcissistic mother, the dark phase of your life is over.

Let the self-love you have developed be your foundation and the guiding force in your life.

Understand yourself, identify your likes, dislikes, objectives, and inspirations, and set out to fulfill them.

Start living the life you were born to live by becoming who you should be.

When you have built yourself up for a good life, you have completed the next step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

Build A New Loving Family For Yourself

The last step in finding out how to heal from a narcissistic mother is to build a new loving family for yourself.

Family is a vital thing in life.

Thus, the fact that you had a narcissistic mother shouldn’t scare you away from building your own family.

It would help if you took it as a challenge and a responsibility to build a loving family free of narcissism. 

So, build a family full of love and where people back & stand for each other.

Ensure that what happened with you doesn’t happen with your children.

When you have built a new loving family for yourself, you have completed the final step of learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother.

That is how you not only heal but turn the bane of your narcissistic mother into a boon for yourself.

Do Not Give Up

Learning how to heal from a narcissistic mother can be a very tricky affair.

Coming out of the influence of a narcissistic mother itself is a great challenge, let alone healing from it.

But it’s certainly not an impossible task.

You need to take it positively and not give up at any point.

And when you get over the horrors of living with a narcissistic mother, you will find yourself in the lap of self-love, which will make your life magical forever.

So, learn how to heal from a narcissistic mother and start living the life you have always deserved.