Disclaimer: The information provided in this article about stress, trauma, depression, self-sabotage, and low self-worth is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, please contact a mental health professional or call emergency services.
Are you looking for signs you’re healing from a toxic relationship?
Healing from a toxic relationship is certainly possible, and there are subtle signs to look for.
Before we look at those signs, let’s first understand what a toxic relationship is.
For you, a relationship might be about love, care, and respect. But it may not be the same for many people out there.
These individuals may be experiencing a dark phase in their lives, which can turn them into toxic people.
And when you get into a relationship with such an individual, you walk into a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship is one where your partner is emotionally unavailable, gaslights you, and is even abusive to you.
They are hardly ever there for you, but use you for everything they want from you. And when you resist, they take it personally, make you feel bad about yourself, and try to control you.
Here are a few things that make a relationship toxic.
You Are In A Toxic Relationship With Your Partner If They
1) Constantly criticize, blame, or belittle you.
2) Show a complete lack of empathy and support.
3) Try to manipulate or control you.
4) Are overly jealous and possessive.
5) Are dishonest and break your trust repeatedly by cheating on you.
6) Make you feel drained, anxious, or unworthy after interactions.
7) Gaslight you to meddle with your feelings or reality.
8) Make you work extra hard to avoid conflicts or emotional trauma.
9) Use silent treatments, such as stonewalling, to “punish” you.
10) Do not take any responsibility to help the relationship grow.
11) Often disrespect relationship boundaries by doing things like checking your phone.
12) Try to distance you from your family and friends.
If one or more of the above things are true about your relationship and it makes you feel suffocated, you are in a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship affects you negatively in many ways. It messes you up mentally, emotionally, and physically.
It can erode your self-worth, worsen your physical health, and distort your understanding of love.
Here are some more profound and more specific effects of being in a toxic relationship.
How does a toxic relationship affect you?
Low Self-Esteem
You develop low self-esteem due to the constant criticism and feel worthless or unlovable.
Anxiety & Stress
A lack of love and gaslighting may cause stress, panic attacks, or even depression.
Loss of Identity
Because you are controlled for a considerable period, you tend to forget your identity, needs, or dreams outside the relationship.
Emotional Exhaustion
Constantly trying to fix things, explaining yourself, or avoiding conflict causes emotional exhaustion and erosion of inner peace.
Shame & Self-Blame
You start blaming yourself for everything, which traps you in guilt and doesn’t let you leave the relationship.
Post-Traumatic Stress
If the toxic relationship involves abuse or trauma, it gives you Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD-like symptoms).
Trust Issues
After being in a toxic relationship, it becomes difficult to trust your partner, even in a healthy relationship.
Codependency
You tend to become overly dependent on the toxic partner for validation or decision-making.
Sleep Issues
Stress and constant tension can lead to issues like insomnia or nightmares.
Compromised Physical Health
Constant stress can also lead to a weakened immune system, under- or over-eating, and body aches.
Difficulty Functioning At Work or School
The emotional toll associated with a toxic relationship may make it hard to focus and perform at work.
Repeating The Pattern
If you enter a new relationship without healing, you may relive the toxic relationship all over again, even in a safe relationship.
You deserve a safe, respectful, and loving relationship. Often, the first step to breaking free is recognizing how it affects you.
But if a toxic relationship is so devastating, why does somebody enter one?
It may happen for a variety of reasons.
Why Do We Enter A Toxic Relationship?
Innocence
The most likely reason is that you don’t know whether a person is toxic. As it often happens, good people assume others are good, too.
To prevent a toxic relationship, it’s best to spend some time with a person before entering a relationship with them.
I know you don’t always have the patience or time to do so, but if you love yourself, you must be willing to wait for the right time.
Subconscious Self-Sabotage
Many times, you subconsciously walk into a toxic relationship to self-sabotage owing to a traumatic childhood.
The Toxic Trap
Toxic people may disguise their reality quite well to find a partner. They may appear very charming and attractive. And before you know their true colors, you get emotionally involved with them.
Some other reasons for walking into a toxic relationship are:
1) Low self-esteem,
2) Fear of being alone,
3) Thinking you would fix the other person,
4) Inexperience,
5) Emotional dependency,
6) Denial, and
7) Love-bombing, where the toxic partner initially gives loads of compliments, gifts, & promises.
Toxic relationships are like traps that ensnare innocent people. These people enter the relationship expecting love or healing, but get a much deeper mess.
When you enter a toxic relationship, is there still hope? Can you ever live a normal life again?
Indeed, you can! For the simple reason that you are not a toxic person. You were only a victim of toxicity, which you can overcome by getting away, working on yourself, and letting yourself heal.
But it’s essential to shrink your time in the toxic relationship as much as possible. It will help ensure that the time you take to heal gets minimized.
So, you must get out of a toxic relationship as soon as you realize it.
Here is how to get out of a toxic relationship.
How To Get Out of A Toxic Relationship
Getting out of a toxic relationship needs clarity, courage, and a plan. Remember, your toxic partner might not be willing to let you go and may try to create confusion, fear, or guilt to prevent you from leaving.
Here is how you can do it, step by step.
Accept That It’s Toxic
Trust your gut and accept that the relationship is toxic.
Do not wait for it to improve when you are being controlled, manipulated, or abused.
Prioritize Your Safety
If you feel physically at risk, plan the exit quietly. If possible, contact a trusted person or organisation.
Confide In Someone Trustworthy
Do not isolate yourself!
Share what’s happening with family, friends, or a therapist. Validation makes you feel stronger and less alone.
Plan The Exit
Decide when and where to go. Choose a safe place that is far beyond the reach of your toxic partner.
Say It Out Loud
Be clear and direct when telling your partner, “This relationship is hurting me; I need to end it to take care of myself.”
Remember not to argue or explain too much.
Cut Them Off
Block them on phone, social media, and email.
They may try to “pull you back” with fake apologies or drama.
Focus On Healing
It’s normal to feel mixed emotions like grief, relief, anger, and frustration. Rest, journal, meditate, talk to an expert, and reconnect with yourself, friends, and family.
Rebuild Your Self-Worth
Get back the confidence that the toxic relationship drained out of you.
Rebuild your financial savings and emotional support base quietly.
Remember to plan the exit over time – slow is still progress.
It may feel hard exiting a toxic relationship, but it’s only because you are under the influence of your toxic partner.
Forget who they want you to be and tap into your true self. It will help make it easier to exit the toxic relationship.
While exiting a toxic relationship, it’s essential to remember at all points that leaving isn’t weakness; it’s self-respect!
Also, it’s not your job to fix a toxic partner, but it is your right to choose peace over pain.
When you have successfully come out of a toxic relationship, you will slowly start healing.
Here are some subtle signs you’re healing from a toxic relationship.
Signs You’re Healing From A Toxic Relationship
Healing from a toxic relationship may not be a straight line; it’s a journey! Thus, you may not feel like it, but there are clear signs you are moving forward.
You Stop Blaming Yourself
You no longer feel guilty or that you are the reason for the things that go wrong around you.
You start saying – “I did my best, but their behavior wasn’t okay.”
You Set Boundaries Without Guilt
You start saying ‘no’ more confidently.
You protect your time, energy, and space without trying to overexplain anything.
You Start Enjoying Solitude
You no longer feel lonely but comfortable and peaceful when alone.
You understand it’s better to be alone than in a relationship that drains you.
You Don’t Crave Their Attention Anymore
You no longer check your phone, hoping for their message, or check their social media status.
You are detaching emotionally in a healthy way.
You Start Trusting Yourself Again
Your inner voice starts to get louder.
You start believing your feelings, instincts, and decisions.
You Have The Confidence To Talk About The Past
The memory of the toxic relationship may still hurt, but it no longer controls or haunts you.
You speak with clarity, not just pain.
You Learn To Choose Peace Over Drama
You are drawn to calm, kind people and situations.
You consciously let go of emotionally chaotic situations as they no longer define you.
You Feel Closer To Your True Self
You start pursuing your old hobbies, dreams, and life objectives.
Your laughter and the sparkle in your eyes return.
You start rediscovering the version of you that got buried.
You Attract Healthier Relationships
You start attracting kind and loving people like you into your life.
You also recognize red flags and have the resolve to walk away.
You are drawn to respect, not control or manipulation.
You’re Proud of Your Progress
You may still be hurting, but you take pride in what you did to restore the real you.
You know you are no longer surrounded by toxicity, which matters a lot to you.
You Learn To Forgive But Not Forget
You understand the importance of forgiveness and moving forward.
However, you also do not forget what happened so that you won’t find yourself in that situation again.
Look out for these signs after getting out of a toxic relationship. If you notice any of them, you have already started healing!
Use The Experience To Grow Stronger
Remember, healing is not about forgetting what happened; it’s about remembering who you are and reclaiming your self-love.
So, even though the pain you went through is still somewhere within you, you have learned to use it to keep getting stronger.
FAQs
Can a toxic relationship be repaired?
In some cases, you can repair a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship is repairable if your partner’s level of toxicity is manageable, they are genuinely willing to work on themselves, and they start showing consistent improvement. It all depends on your partner’s level of toxicity and whether they are committed to change.
How do we remove toxicity from a relationship?
Removing toxicity from a relationship entails detoxifying the toxic partner. To do this:
1) The toxic partner should accept the toxicity and the need for change.
2) Tell them exactly what they need to work on.
3) Offer them personal help and suggest therapy to help them rewire their thoughts.
4) Track behavioral changes and improvements.
5) Ensure consistency, patience, and plan for the “bad days.”
6) Continue to motivate them and help them believe they are capable of change.
How do I know if my relationship is beyond repair?
If your partner’s behavior is suffocating you mentally & emotionally, causing unbearable stress, and there is no hope of them improving, you should consider your relationship beyond repair. Remember, even if they show some improvement, you should exit the relationship if you find it impossible to wait. Your mental health is always a priority.
How to let go of someone you love but are toxic?
To let go of a toxic partner, you must have self-love. You must be a priority for yourself, especially when in a toxic relationship. The longer you wait, the more you will get emotionally attached to your toxic partner, hence making the exit harder. Remember, it’s not your job to fix them, but your responsibility to protect your self-worth.
How long does it take to heal from a toxic relationship?
It depends on how toxic your partner was and how long you stayed in the relationship. If the partner was mildly toxic and you spent less time in the relationship, you can recover quickly within 3-6 months. But if they were too toxic and you spent considerable time with them, it may take up to 1 year or even longer.
To heal quickly, remember to mentally let go of the “days of toxicity” and consult an expert therapist immediately.
How do you know when you're healed from a relationship?
When you start feeling like your true self again, the “toxic days” become a source of strength instead of fear, and you feel ready to enter a new loving relationship; you have healed fully. Also, when you’re healed from a toxic relationship, the level of your self-love grows beyond what you had before entering the relationship.
