‘Feelings’ Can Be Tricky
Do you sometimes feel that you stop yourself from talking about certain things with your boyfriend?
Being scared to talk about your feelings with your boyfriend can be confusing. Why would you be sceptical about sharing your life with someone you love the most? Someone who is meant to listen to you, support you emotionally, and make you feel good about yourself?
But you are not alone in facing this dilemma. Almost everyone at some point in their relationship feels this way. The only difference is that some people know the reason, some don’t.
Why Am I Scared To Talk About My Feelings To My Boyfriend
1. You were brought up in an environment where talking about your feelings wasn’t encouraged or received well.
2. You feel your feelings are not significant enough and talking about them will “waste’ your boyfriend’s time.
3. You have not shared your feelings with anyone else till now.
4. You do not know how to articulate or express your feelings.
5. You are not sure whether the feelings are real or just temporary.
6. You do not want to share your feelings with anyone; you prefer to handle them yourself.
7. You are scared of feeling emotionally vulnerable after revealing your deepest emotions.
8. In your past relationships, your ex hurt your feelings on many occasions.
9. Your boyfriend shuts down when you express your feelings, which hurts you.
10. Your boyfriend is pressuring you to share your feelings with him.
11. You fear your boyfriend might get angry or that it might lead to an argument.
12. You are worried it will stress them out or deeply hurt them.
13. You are scared they would use your feelings against you.
14. You are scared they will not understand and judge you, which can hurt your feelings or damage the relationship.
15. You do not trust them and are scared they will not keep it a secret.
16. You are scared your partner is not the one for you.
In the long term, choosing not to speak about your feelings to your boyfriend might ruin the relationship. It can create emotional and physical distance, foster misunderstandings, and make the relationship seem dysfunctional and, hence, pointless.
If you feel scared of sharing your feelings with your boyfriend, here is what you should do.
I Am Scared To Talk About My Feelings To My Boyfriend—What Do I Do?
Self-Validate Your Feelings
Raise your self-esteem and practice positive self-talk to affirm that your feelings are valid and deserve expression and acceptance.
Learn To Express Your Feelings Effectively
Learn the basic art of turning your feelings into clear words and sentences that can describe them.
Also, ensure that what you say conveys the exact thing you want to put out there so that it is not ambiguous or isn’t misunderstood.
It will make you more confident about your feelings and about expressing them.
Keep Some Feelings To Yourself
The ability to express your feelings doesn’t mean you should talk about everything you feel. It can exhaust you mentally and physically and create many complications in your life. It can also make you come out a little desperate.
Thus, choose wisely as to which feelings to convey and which to keep to yourself.
A simple rule-of-thumb can be—“Release” the feelings that can create unnecessary stress within you and keep the ones that make you feel confident about yourself or improve your situations and relationships.
Share Your Feelings Anyway
Even if you feel scared, remember: the cost of expressing your feelings is always less than the benefit.
Nothing is more unhealthy than suppressing your feelings. It may create self-doubt, distrust in your partner, and make you feel lonely and depressed.
If you express your feelings to your partner, what harm can it do? At its worst, it may cause a fight, but even this fight will clear misunderstandings and help the relationship get stronger in the long run.
So, expressing your feelings to your partner is always a win-win for you.
Consider Therapy
If you still experience difficulty in expressing your feelings to your partner, I suggest meeting a personal therapist or a relationship counselor.
They can help you heal any past mental scars that may be keeping you from communicating your feelings to your boyfriend.
Strengthen Your Emotional Bond With Your Partner
One of the primary purposes of a relationship is to express your deepest, darkest feelings. When that door feels shut, it can feel trapped and terrifying.
You are not entirely wrong in feeling scared about revealing your secret emotions to your partner, as they may be misunderstood.
But tell me one thing: Are misunderstandings in your relationship scarier than the helplessness you feel right now?
Keeping your feelings inside, especially the negative ones, like your insecurities, can cause a lot of psychological damage and is thus extremely unhealthy.
Thus, you must gather the courage to communicate them to your boyfriend. Honestly expressing your feelings will not only help you maintain a peaceful mental state but also strengthen your emotional connection with your partner.
Remember: Whenever you choose not to express a feeling, you become more distant from your partner without getting any closer to yourself.
