Disclaimer: The information provided in this article about feelings of worthlessness, mental wounds, and a traumtic past is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, please contact a mental health professional or call emergency services.
Updated On: Jan 12, 2025
When Relationships Go The Wrong Path
Are you feeling worthless in a relationship and unsure about why?
Don’t worry—it’s a familiar feeling. You are not alone, and there are proven solutions.
First, let’s try to understand relationships and their relevance.
The question we first need to reflect upon is why we enter a relationship.
We enter it because we want to feel good about ourselves.
Being in a relationship helps you feel something more than yourself.
It makes you feel that you are not alone in loving yourself and that someone cares about you more than yourself.
Your partner makes you feel special, which makes your life worthwhile and even more beautiful.
It is the ideal situation that should happen in a relationship.
But many times, the truth is different from our expectations.
The relationship you thought would make your life a living heaven may make you feel worthless.
It may reduce you below what you were before you entered the relationship.
You may feel forced into feeling worthless in the relationship.
What do you do in such a situation?
If you feel worthless in a relationship, you should find a solution or quit immediately.
Decision-making needs to be prompt, as the feeling of worthlessness in the relationship may rise within you with each passing moment.
But before you decide, you need to investigate the issue thoroughly.
You don’t want to make any uninformed or impulsive decision that could ruin your relationship, reputation, or life.
Thus, the first step should be to find out why you feel worthless in your relationship.
The first question you must ask yourself is whether you have felt this way before.
Did the feelings of worthlessness use to trouble you before you entered this relationship?
Did you experience this feeling of worthlessness in a relationship in your earlier relationships, too?
Remember to be honest with yourself, as you must find a solution to this critical issue in life.
If the feelings of worthlessness have troubled you before, the onus to set things right lies on your shoulders.
Alternatively, your partner is not responsible for you feeling worthless in your relationship.
Since the problem lies within you, the solution will also come from you.
Let’s look at the causes of feeling worthless in a relationship and the possible solutions.
Possible Reasons Behind Feeling Worthless In A Relationship
What can be the possible reasons behind feeling worthless in a relationship?
There are five potential reasons behind this.
A Neglected Childhood
A neglected childhood is the first possible reason behind feeling worthless in a relationship.
If your parents or guardians were not supportive enough and didn’t encourage you enough, you might have felt worthless.
It may have been worse if they made you believe you weren’t good enough.
Parents are a child’s first point of contact, and how they interact with the child matters a lot.
Their neglect or discouragement may develop feelings of worthlessness within the child.
And when you grow up, these feelings may trick you into feeling worthless in a relationship.
If this is what has happened, you need to forgive your parents for not being supportive enough.
Grudges do not hurt the people against whom you hold them; they only prevent you from living your best possible life.
So, to liberate yourself and move on in life, you need to forgive your parents.
Please give them the benefit of the doubt to allow yourself and your relationship to succeed.
By forgiving your parents, you will become capable of loving, supporting, and encouraging yourself.
It will help you eliminate the feeling of worthlessness in your relationship.
A Constant Sense Of Comparison
The second possible reason behind feeling worthless in a relationship can be your habit of constantly comparing yourself with others.
The material world can be a cruel place.
You may start comparing yourself with others without any intention of doing so.
You see how they look, what they can do, what they have, and how their life is.
And you compare these things to your situation.
If you conclude that you are better than them, you develop ego, and if you think you are worse, you develop feelings of worthlessness.
This habit of comparisons may also nudge you into comparing yourself with your partner, making you feel worthless.
And you mistake this feeling of worthlessness due to comparisons with feeling worthless in a relationship.
The habit of comparing yourself to others is indeed tempting.
It is justified sometimes to give yourself that necessary push.
However, overdoing it may be counterproductive, especially in a relationship.
Thus, it would help if you dropped this self-demeaning habit.
It would help to stop comparing yourself to others and your life to theirs.
You must realize and appreciate your uniqueness, irrespective of your circumstances.
When you stop comparing yourself to others, the feelings of worthlessness in your relationship will fade away.
A Higher Rate Of Failures in Life
The next possible reason behind the feeling of worthlessness in a relationship within you can be your failures.
Life can be challenging for some people.
Even if they keep trying and giving their best, failures may occur more frequently than successes.
And when your failures outweigh your success, feelings of worthlessness develop within you.
You start feeling worthless because you could not achieve success to the level you should have.
And when you enter into a relationship in this state, you think you feel worthless because of your partner.
It would help if you could acknowledge your failures as the reason for your feelings of worthlessness.
Only when you do this will you be able to overcome this feeling.
You need to know and tell yourself that your worth doesn’t come from what you have or haven’t achieved.
Your worth is the consequence of who you are, how you behave with others, and whether people love you.
If you are a good person who respects others and everyone loves you, you are not worthless but precious.
Such people have the power of goodness, truth, and love within and behind them, so they never give up.
They are focused on their goals and are persistent in their approach, which eventually helps them succeed.
So, never determine your worth based on your achievements or lack thereof; decide based on what kind of a person you are.
It will help you eliminate your problem of ‘Feeling worthless in a relationship.’
The three reasons for feeling worthless in a relationship we have discussed are related to you.
If you are sure you are feeling worthless in a relationship and the reason isn’t you, you must keep looking for the reason.
Maybe it’s neither your nor your partner’s fault.
Misunderstandings & Lack Of Communication
Feeling worthless in a relationship can also result from a misunderstanding or a lack of communication between you and your partner.
You may mistakenly think your partner is doing things that make you feel worthless.
They may not do it on purpose, and they may not know you are feeling this way.
For example, their entire focus may be on their work or other important commitments, which might prevent them from giving you adequate attention.
But you think they are ignoring you, which gives you the feeling of worthlessness in a relationship.
The key here is communication.
Talk to your partner, tell them how you are feeling, ask them whether they are ignoring you, and clear the air.
If your partner loves you and this was an honest mistake, they will apologize and assure you that they will be more careful in the future.
It will sort things out, and your feelings of worthlessness will no longer exist.
Remember that communication is the key to a successful relationship, especially when you are unhappy with your partner.
When you start communicating your feelings & concerns effectively, feeling worthless in a relationship will no longer haunt you.
If it’s neither you nor misunderstandings that are making you feel worthless in the relationship, your partner may be the reason.
A Dominating, Demeaning, & Toxic Partner
The final possible reason behind feeling worthless in a relationship is that you have a dominating, demeaning, and toxic partner.
If you have a toxic partner, they may not be giving you adequate attention for no valid reason, or they may also be mistreating you.
Inadequate attention may stem from your partner being too full of themselves or not that seriously into you.
The mistreatment may involve trivializing what you think, say, do, or achieve.
Also, they may not value your feelings, needs, and aspirations.
Insensitivity, uncaring behavior, and a total lack of respect from your partner may make you feel worthless.
An insensitive, misbehaving, or dominating partner who makes you feel worthless is generally beyond repair.
It’s challenging to change a person, especially when they are toxic.
If you have chosen the wrong person, you may have to give them up.
But before doing so, to be sure that you are not the one to sabotage the relationship or the one who breaks away impulsively, give them another chance.
If they do not improve and the feeling of worthlessness grows within you, end the relationship.
Your self-worth and dignity are much more important than any relationship.
And when your partner threatens these essential human emotions, you have the right to protect them.
So, break away, move on, and make way for your soul mate with whom you will feel valuable and not worthless.
When you break up with your toxic partner, the feelings of worthlessness will cease to haunt you.
Immediate Action Is The Key
When you feel worthless in a relationship, it’s not a healthy situation at all.
It may start as a concern, but over time, if unchecked, it can grow into a painful mental wound.
Thus, you must decide what steps to take to tackle the situation.
If it’s your past demons, you must fight them and fend them off.
If there’s a communication gap between you and your partner, you have to plug it.
And if it’s a toxic partner who is making you feel worthless, you have to let them go.
If you are feeling worthless in a relationship, your priority should be yourself.
It’s because the relationship exists through you and not vice versa.
When you take the necessary steps and rediscover your worth, you will once again become capable of loving yourself.
And self-love will then make your life more than just worth living; it will make your life great!
FAQs
What does feeling worthless in a relationship mean?
Feeling worthless in a relationship means losing your individuality. It means that your partner has become all important, and everything in the relationship is done to suit them. They don’t care about you, your feelings, or your needs as a person or a lover. You feel empty on the inside and lonely on the outside.
Is it normal to feel worthless in a relationship?
No, you do not expect to feel worthless in a relationship. On the contrary, it’s very unhealthy to feel empty when you have someone to be with, love, and support you. Feeling empty suggests that your partner is not giving you adequate attention and value. It’s also possible that you are not meant to be with them.
What is the root cause of feeling worthless?
The root cause of feeling worthless may be a troubled past, insecurities, or a toxic partner. If, as a child, you were not loved, encouraged, and supported enough by your parents, feelings of worthlessness may have developed within you. The same may be true in case you have a toxic partner.
What is the psychology behind feeling worthless in a relationship?
Humans need to feel wanted, cared for, and loved by those who matter to them. When their family, friends, or partner do not love and support them enough, they feel unhappy. As a result, they mistreat themselves and start feeling they are no good or even useless.
What to do when your partner makes you feel worthless?
When your partner makes you feel worthless, you should talk to them about it. Tell them their actions and behavior make you feel bad about yourself. Tell them exactly what they are doing wrong and how it negatively impacts you. If they show no signs of improvement, get out of the toxic relationship to rediscover your self-worth.
How do you stop feeling worthless in a relationship?
If you were neglected by your parents as a kid, see a psychologist. If you feel worthless due to your partner, talk to them, let them know about it, and help them become a better partner. But if you feel worthless for no reason, do self-esteem-raising activities like positive affirmations like “I am worthy” or “I feel good about myself.”
Why do I feel unworthy of being in a relationship?
Feeling unworthy of being in a relationship can be due to one or more reasons among the following:
- Your parents were divorced or didn’t have a stable relationship
- You have a low judgment of yourself
- You are more career-oriented than relationship-oriented
- The relationship seems too much responsibility to you
- Your partner makes you feel unworthy
Why am I feeling empty in my relationship?
You feel empty in a relationship when you expect too much from your partner or when your partner is not giving you any attention at all. It’s also possible that it’s nobody’s fault and that you and your partner are too busy with your respective lives. You also need to check your relationship for compatibility issues.
How do you tell your partner you are lonely?
When talking to your partner about your loneliness, express it positively. Do not say that they are ignoring you or not giving you enough time. Tell them that you crave some romantic time with them. Find a mutually suitable time to spend quality time together. Hug them lovingly and tell them you love spending time with them.
Can you be unhappy in a relationship but still love them?
Yes. Such love is unconditional. Even when you have to go through pain and heartbreaks, you still want to do things to improve your relationship with your partner. You still want to be with them and care for their happiness and health. To love somebody like this, one has to be mentally really strong.
But it is unhealthy for you and thus cannot last too long. At some point, it has to come to an end.
When does a relationship drain you?
A relationship becomes draining when it runs solely on one person’s efforts. The other person does not put any effort whatsoever into making the relationship work. On the contrary, they make things even harder for the other person, making it even more draining and impossible. Such relationships do not have any future.
Should I leave my relationship if I'm unhappy?
Whether to leave a relationship if you are unhappy is a matter of personal wisdom and choice. If there isn’t any hope left, you should leave it. But if you think there is still hope in the relationship and your happiness might recover, you should stay. It all boils down to whether your partner is worth the wait.
How do you know if you are incompatible with your partner?
Compatibility between partners doesn’t necessarily mean you share the same interests. If you are different but complete each other, you are perfect. But if you are too different and the differences lead to fights, you are incompatible. You have excellent compatibility if you share similar interests and help each other grow. But if the similarities lead to unhealthy competition and fights, you are incompatible.
Am I unhappy, or is it my relationship?
Did you have a painful childhood that still haunts you? Is there a health issue you are going through that makes you sad? Are there any unfulfilled wishes and goals in your life that bother you? Are you unhappy with where you stand in life right now? If none of these reasons trouble you, the reason behind your unhappiness is your relationship.
Why can't I leave my boyfriend even though I want to?
Maybe you saw your parents struggling with each other but not wanting to part ways, and it stayed with you. You may still think there is some hope left in the relationship. As a couple, you may be incompatible, but your partner is a nice person. It’s also possible that you are worried whether or not you will get a better partner.
How can I tell if I'm self-sabotaging my relationship?
You are sabotaging your relationship if you are:
- Ignoring your partner, intentionally or unintentionally.
- Complaining and criticizing them too often.
- Insensitive, and you hurt your partner’s feelings.
- Expecting a lot from them.
- Not open for an honest conversation after a fight.
- Not giving them personal space.
- Getting into arguments & fights over every minor issue.
- Blaming them for your problems.
How do you end a relationship when they don't want to?
You need to put your perspective and choices above your partner’s. What your partner wants doesn’t matter if you think it’s not working for you, even after trying very hard. You need to realize that it’s for the best of both of you and make the other person understand the same thing.
If they still do not understand, ask them why you should be together and give a fitting reply against it to convince them.
How do you say goodbye to someone you love but can't be with?
Tell them, “Maybe it’s destiny,” and “Maybe it’s in the best interest of both of us.” Tell them that you had a great time, and the joyride had to end somewhere. Thank them for everything and say that you will remember the fond memories. Wish them the best of luck for their life ahead, hug them, and say your final goodbye.
