“Bliss Point” In Relationships

Have you heard about the concept of ‘Bliss Point ’?

It’s a concept in Economics about how doing something in the right amount gives you bliss.

For example, eating one banana will reduce your hunger when you are hungry, and the second one will satisfy you. So, consuming two bananas takes you to your bliss point. 

But what will happen if you eat another banana?

The third banana will take you to the ‘saturation point’ beyond which you cannot eat.

And if you forcefully eat a fourth banana, it will make the banana “Bad” for you. It means the banana will no longer be beneficial and will start giving you ‘negative returns.’ So, the fourth banana might make you sick!

Why am I talking about the ‘Bliss Point?’ 

What does the concept of ‘Bliss Point’ have to do with overthinking about someone you love?

The two concepts have a deep connection!

When you enter the ‘Overthinking Zone’ in your relationship, you have gone past the “Bliss Point” and the “Saturation Point” into the “Bad” zone.

This means that your relationship no longer gives you love or happiness but has become a source of trouble.

Overthinking your relationship makes you miserable and eventually forces you to quit!

It is how overthinking ruins a simple, promising, and beautiful relationship forever.

Thus, it’s crucial to stop overthinking about your partner.

Let’s start by understanding what overthinking in a relationship means.

What does overthinking in a relationship mean? 

Overthinking in a relationship means you can’t stop thinking about what your partner said to you, how they said it, or how they behaved with you. 

As a result, you over-analyze and harshly judge your partner, blowing things out of proportion and thus taking your relationship in the wrong direction.

Types of Overthinking In Relationships

There are 10 types of overthinking in relationships.

Now, let’s try to understand overthinking in a relationship with some practical signs and their examples.

Signs And Examples of Overthinking In A Relationship:

Overanalyzing Texts: 

“They replied with a short message … Are they mad at me?”

“Why did they use a period instead of an emoji … Are they being cold?”

Reading Into Their Mood:

“They seemed quiet today… Did I do something wrong?”

“They didn’t say ‘I love you’ before hanging up. Are they losing interest?”

Overthinking Future Plans:

“What if we break up in a year?”

“Will they still love me if I change or grow differently?”

Doubting Their Feelings:

“They didn’t compliment me today. Do they still find me attractive?”

“They didn’t hold my hand—are they falling out of love?”

Questioning Their Intentions:

“They didn’t mention me when talking to their friend… Are they ashamed of me?”

“Why did they like their ex’s photo? Do they still have feelings for them?”

Creating Problems That Don’t Exist:

“They’re probably getting bored of me.”

“What if they’re only with me out of pity?”

Seeking Constant Reassurance:

“Do you still love me?” (even though they’ve already expressed it)

“Are you sure everything is okay?” (repeatedly asking)

Here are some more signs of overthinking in a relationship:

These signs will help you discover your habit of overthinking in your relationship.

However, discovering is only the first step in eliminating the issue of overthinking in a relationship.

Overcoming overthinking about someone you love might be difficult until you know the underlying causes.

Here are some of the possible reasons for overthinking a relationship.

Reasons You May Overthink A Relationship

1. Insecurity & Trust Issues

When you fear losing your partner, it can trigger overthinking everything related or unrelated to your relationship. 

You may constantly feel your partner is about to break up with you, even when everything is going very well.

If this insecurity isn’t addressed promptly, it might manifest as a lack of trust in your partner. 

The lack of trust might increase the degree of relationship overthinking you indulge in. 

It may even trick you into believing that your partner is having an affair or cheating on you.

2. Traumatic Past Experiences

If you suffered enough in your past relationships, you may have carried some of that trauma into your current relationship.

It may lead you to believe you will face the same situation again, and you might imagine the worst possible scenarios.

3. Over-Attachment

Attachment is good as it makes you feel one with your partner. But when this feeling crosses healthy boundaries, it becomes troublesome.

When you become too attached to your partner, you become overly sensitive and start overthinking everything about them.

4. Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem makes you feel unworthy of all the good things in your life. You always fear losing them, but do not want to let them go.

It gives rise to overthinking about your relationship and your partner.

5. Perfectionism

The habit of perfectionism adversely affects our relationships, too. It gives you a list of lofty and unreasonable expectations from your partner.

And when they fail to meet your set standards, you overthink and judge them harshly.

6. Uncertainty About The Future

The future is always uncertain. You cannot know what challenges it brings concerning your relationship.

Thus, uncertainty might scare you into overthinking what your partner might do. You may fear their love will reduce, or they will no longer want to be with you.

7. Lack of Communication

Communication is essential in a relationship. It can make or break it.

If, for some reason, communication between partners gets strangled, it might give rise to overthinking. 

You may start mistrusting your partner or think they have lost interest in you.

8. Mental Health Issues

Life can feel overwhelming at times. You may feel stressed, anxious, or depressed. 

During such times, you may see bad things that don’t exist in your relationship.

9. Negative Childhood Experiences

Sometimes, a traumatic childhood can make it difficult for you to develop or maintain emotional bonds or relationships.

Childhood scars may tempt you into overthinking and thus sabotaging a perfectly healthy relationship.

10. Cognitive Biases or Distorted Thinking

People may be in the habit of seeing things differently than they are and come up with their version.

This habit may trigger overthinking about your partner and reaching a conclusion that is far from reality.

11. A General Habit of Overthinking

If you have a general habit of overthinking every aspect of life, you might also overthink your relationship.

12. Imposter Syndrome in Relationships

If you think your true identity differs from what your partner knows about you, you might feel like an impostor.

You may feel like a “fraud” and fear they will leave you after knowing your real identity.

This feeling might keep you stressed and trick you into overthinking about your partner and relationship.

Whatever the cause, overthinking your relationship affects you negatively in many ways. It changes your personality and forces you to become someone you are not.

Here are some critical adverse effects of overthinking in a relationship.

Repercussions of Overthinking In A Relationship

1. Chronic Complaining

When you overthink every aspect of your relationship, you get into the details of the things you should have let go of.

This over-analysis makes you negative and thus critical of your partner. You start seeing the wrong side, leading to constant discontent and complaints.

2. A Heightened Urge For Control

When you let your thoughts flow naturally, you find it easier to give more space and freedom to your partner, which deepens your bond with them.

But when you start overthinking every behavior of your partner, you feel things are slipping out of control.

You start trying too hard to “mend” things, which turns you into an unhealthily controlling partner.

This heightened urge for greater control is neither good for you nor your relationship.

3. Constant Worry & Stress

Overthinking is inherently worrisome and stressful. When you overthink, you are panicking about what may happen.

It’s not the ideal state to be in, as it harms inner peace and deteriorates your mental health in the long run. 

4. Suspicion & Doubt

One outcome of the inherent negativity of overthinking is that it turns you into a suspicious person.

You keep trying to uncover conspiracies against yourself when there are none.

You keep doubting the intentions, words, and actions of your partner.

You keep thinking about what the future holds for you and your relationship.

The suspicion and doubt together make you a less trusting person, degrading your relationship quality. 

When one cannot trust others, it also leads to self-doubt.

5. Self-Pity

Overthinking in a relationship is a form of self-sabotaging behavior that generates guilt and self-pity.

6. Emotional Exhaustion

Overthinking about your partner tires you mentally and emotionally drains you.

It keeps targeting your fragile emotions, which finally causes you to suffer a breakdown.

You always feel emotionally hurt as your tormented emotions get the better of you.

7. Communication Breakdowns

When you overthink, you talk less and tend to seclude yourself.

Not only does the communication in your relationship break down, but you are also cut off from the outside world.

It gives rise to a very unhealthy mental state, which might lead to depression.

8. Negative Thought Patterns

Overthinking your relationship takes you into the “dark region,” where you start seeing the worst possibilities.

If not corrected in time, these worst possibilities grip your expectations and become a part of your instinctive thoughts.

A negative instinct shapes your reality to bring your worst fears to life.

9. Impact of Self-Esteem

When you overthink your partner, you start feeling they do not love or respect you.

It gradually shapes your own opinion about yourself. You feel yourself to be unimportant and undeserving of love and appreciation.

Thus, your self-worth takes a hit, which profoundly impacts your self-esteem.

But overthinking in a relationship doesn’t only affect you negatively, it also affects your partner and relationship.

Here are some ways in which overthinking hurts your relationship. 

These repercussions of overthinking about your partner may prevent you from living the life you deserve.

Thus, you must find effective ways to overcome the habit of overthinking about your partner.

Here are some practical and easy ways to stop overthinking in your relationship.

How To Stop Overthinking About Someone You Love

1. Acknowledge The Issue

Denying your obsession with overthinking your relationship may not help. Thus, you must quickly take control of the situation by accepting the problem.

Ask yourself if you overthink your relationship and confirm it with a good friend.

2. Open up To Your Partner

Communication can end unnecessary doubts and overthinking. Tell your partner how you feel and try to clear the air. 

Lousy listening skills can also create many misunderstandings and confusion in a relationship. As a result, you start overthinking when the conversation is over.

So, make it a point to be present while talking to your partner. Improving your listening skills will help you quit overthinking in your relationship.

3. Embrace Uncertainty

Be okay with not knowing what the future holds for you and your relationship.

Freaking out over a problem that isn’t there might create it even before time.

4. Expand Your Perspective

When you know there are many possibilities for a particular situation or behavior, you stop overthinking about them.

So, consciously widen your view through effort and practice. 

Getting more exposure by reading books and doing things rich in life’s experiences, like traveling, will help you do this.

5. Value Your Self-Worth

Valuing your self-worth helps you stop overemphasizing your relationship. You already feel complete and do not look to extract meaning from your partner or your relationship.

If you feel the need, build your self-worth using affirmations or journaling.

6. Assume Good Intent

A simple and instant way to stifle overthinking in your relationship is to assume that your partner has good intentions.

So, assume they are innocent until you have some concrete evidence or your partner confesses to doing something terrible.

7. Convert Doubts Into Exploration

When you find yourself overthinking about your partner, choose to explore the issue practically rather than over-analyze it theoretically.

This way, you will get the truth without psychological hassles.

8. Enjoy Your Life

Make it a rule to enjoy your life to the fullest, every moment, no matter what!

Remember, when life is a cool breeze, it’s almost impossible to overthink your relationship.

9. Focus On The Positives

Positivity and overthinking are poles apart. Use this law to your benefit!

Think optimistically and stay positive, and overthinking your relationship will never find you.

10. Practice Self-Compassion

When we have self-compassion, we realize that overthinking a relationship isn’t worth it.

Staying authentic and kind to yourself is the only thing you should hold on to.

So, be self-compassionate and ditch the self-imposed torture of overthinking your relationship.

11. Don’t Believe Every Thought

Choose to believe and focus only on the positive thoughts your mind generates about your relationship.

Doing this will help you not zoom in on the thoughts that lead to overthinking about your partner.

12. Learn To Let Go

You do not need to engage with every thought you get. 

You are free to choose the ones that soothe you and let go of the ones that tend to drag you into overthinking your relationship.

Try deep breathing and meditation if you struggle to let go of these thoughts.

13. Replace The Thought Loop

You can even replace a chain of negative thoughts you have been overthinking with a positive thought.

Consciously pull yourself out of the negative thought loop and replace it with a more positive one.

14. Find Out The Cause

Knowing ‘Why’ you overthink about your partner can help you discover ‘How’ you can overcome it.

Use the causes I have listed above to determine your reason for overthinking your relationship.

15. Be Consciously More Trusting

Investing in trust can pay off handsomely when you struggle with overthinking a relationship.

Make it a point to trust your partner and relationship despite any overthinking or negative thoughts you may be facing.

Believe your partner loves you; your relationship will stand the test of time.

16. Have Clear Relationship Goals

Having clear goals for your relationship can cut through all the negative overthinking in a relationship.

When you have goals, you work towards them instead of overthinking about your partner.

17. Focus on The Present (And Not On The Past)

Focusing on the present moment frees you of the past and reduces pain and suffering drastically.

It ends up overthinking about your relationship faster than you may think.

So, irrespective of how bad it was, let go of your relationship’s past.

18. Do Not Sit Idle

Sitting idle is the mother of all overthinking and creates issues that aren’t there.

So, do not ever sit idle. Do something that interests you and makes you happy.

It will minimize your thoughts and help you appreciate what you share with your partner.

19. Journal

Journaling is a great way to manage overthinking in a relationship.

It helps you pour out all the extra or unnecessary thoughts, thus freeing you of them.

In your journal, you can also write affirmations and discover solutions for overthinking about your partner.

20. Ask For Support From Friends & Family

Our friends and family can be great resources when dealing with overthinking in a relationship.

They can help you find solutions and give you the support you need to overcome overthinking.

It’s also well-known that we forget all our worries and stress when we’re around a loving family or friend.

So, do not hesitate to ask for help from them when you find yourself overthinking your relationship.

21. Be Patient

Overcoming overthinking a relationship might take time. Thus, you need to be patient.

So, ensure you remain on the right track and let time do the rest of the job.

22. Learn To Forgive

Forgiveness is a liberating practice and way of life.

When you forgive your partner for their mistakes, you free yourself of all the unnecessary thoughts about them.

Forgiving your partner will not only make you calmer but will also save your relationship from getting sabotaged.

23. Draw Positive Thought Boundaries

Choose a healthy boundary for your thoughts about your relationship, and do not breach it.

It might not happen instantly and require practice, but it will work wonders.

It will help you filter out unnecessary thoughts and check overthinking about your partner.

24. Respect Your Partner

When you overthink, you not only suffer yourself but also disrespect your partner.

It’s because overthinking them might make you think about what they are not.

You judge them harshly and lower their image in your mind.

Thus, respecting your partner more can help you become a better partner and naturally help you stop obsessing over them.

25. Focus on Your Career

Your relationship isn’t the only thing going on in your life. Your career is another crucial aspect that needs attention.

You should give it equal importance if you cannot prioritize your career over your relationship.

When your career becomes essential to you, overthinking your relationship will stop automatically.

26. Love Your Partner Unconditionally

Your unconditional love benefits not only your partner but also you. It helps you trust and respect your partner to the best of your ability.

Thus, unconditional love helps you stop doubting your partner or worrying about your relationship.

27. Value Your Relationship

Overthinking about a relationship can mean jeopardizing it.

Thus, you must value your relationship enough to stop ruminating over your partner.

28. Volunteer For A Social Cause

Overthinking is also an outcome of becoming over-involved with ourselves. 

If you can open up, connect with others, and help them in their journeys, it can help you immensely, too.

It will take your mind off your worries, especially the self-created ones, thus helping you overcome overthinking about your partner.

29. Practice Relaxation Techniques

If the cause of your overthinking is your anxiety and stress, relaxation techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and deep breathing can help.

These time-tested practices will help you calm down, thus relieving you of the “compulsion” to overthink your relationship.

30. Balancing Your Relationships

Your romantic relationship with your partner isn’t the only relationship you have, remember?

You have a loving family, some of the most incredible friends, and a whole lot of strangers around you who have the potential to enrich your life.

Balance these relationships with your romantic relationship by giving them more importance, and you will stop obsessing over your partner.

31. Develop Self-Confidence

Confidence helps you achieve great things and keep them lifelong with you.

In your relationship, your confidence depends on how good a partner you are and how much freedom you give to your partner.

If you are a good partner who gives your partner enough space, you will have the confidence to keep your relationship.

It will help you prevent overthinking your relationship or about your partner.

32. See A Therapist

Sometimes, we may try everything to overcome overthinking in a relationship without any success.

If you face this situation, immediately meet a therapist or relationship expert.

Remember, there isn’t any shame or embarrassment in taking your issues to an expert. It’s a smart move!

They have the knowledge and experience to solve your puzzle within minutes.

Confused about when to see a therapist for overthinking in a relationship?

This might help.

Overload Your Relationship With Love

Overthinking in a relationship turns the relationship into the opposite of what you want it to be.

It not only risks your relationship but also gives you immense psychological pain & trauma.

Please draw positive boundaries and stay within the relationship’s “bliss point.”

If not, ensure you do not cross the “Saturation Point”, beyond which overthinking starts.

Do not burden your relationship with overthinking; overload it with love and affection for your partner!