Better Listening – The Key To A Successful Relationship
Discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship has become more critical than ever.
There are many foundations for a successful and vibrant relationship.
However, the art of being a good listener is one of the most critical factors.
When you are all ears when your partner has something to say, it symbolizes many positive things about you as a partner.
It shows a deep sense of care, respect, and understanding for your partner.
These traits of a good partner, which come with being a good listener, further strengthen the bond you share with your partner.
However, couples often find it challenging to improve their listening skills.
They want to listen to their partner’s concerns and deepest feelings but don’t know how.
They mostly find themselves talking more than listening to their partners.
Becoming a better listener in a relationship requires knowing the right way and time to listen.
Also, one needs to know how to make an effort to become a good listener in a relationship.
So, let’s find out how to be a better listener in a relationship and improve your chemistry with your partner.
How To Be A Better Listener In A Relationship
There are eight easy things you need to do to learn how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Learn To Be Patient
The first step in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship is learning to be patient.
Patience is the most essential art to hone if you want to improve your listening skills.
In a relationship, patience helps you appear as a selfless partner who respects and values the other person.
As a listener, patience helps you listen to your partner with utmost focus and commitment.
It also enhances your trustworthiness as a partner, exhibiting intelligence, maturity, and commitment.
Apart from making you a better listener, patience helps your relationship in many other ways.
For example, patience prevents one from becoming negative and overly critical of one’s partner.
Thus, before you start improving your listening skills, you must develop patience within yourself.
When you have developed patience within yourself, you have learned the first lesson in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Let Your Partner Talk First
The second thing you need to do to discover how to be a better listener in a relationship is to let your partner talk first.
The tendency to dominate and be “the talker” in a relationship can be overpowering sometimes.
Everyone in a relationship has emotional and psychological needs, making them want to talk first.
They feel they can listen to their partners only when they have expressed their emotions first.
But this is where you need to become stronger as it has significant and rich relationship advantages.
Finding a way to let your partner talk first can significantly increase your emotional intelligence.
By letting your partner talk about their feelings first, you develop respect in their heart for yourself.
When your turn to talk comes, your partner will be more than willing to listen to you.
Your words will hold importance and weight in them.
Your partner will be naturally and genuinely interested in what you say to them.
Also, letting your partner talk first will make you even more patient.
So, let your partner go first when talking and expressing in your relationship.
When you let your partner talk first, you have learned the next lesson in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Handle The Awkward Topics Well
The third thing you need to do to discover how to be a better listener in a relationship is to handle the “awkward” topics well.
Being a good listener when your partner is talking to you isn’t only about letting them speak first.
It is also about good management of what they are saying to you.
For example, your partner may express things about your behavior that may seem like complaints against you.
What do you do in such awkward moments when you are uncomfortable with what they say about you?
When you feel your partner complains about your behavior, take them positively.
Neither become too defensive nor start complaining about them.
Listen to what they say, think if it is genuine, and be determined to improve yourself.
Also, apologize if you hurt them and politely let them know you will improve.
Doing this will make you a good listener at the next level.
When your partner feels you received their message well, they will love you more.
So, find a positive and reliable way past the awkward topics your partner chooses.
It will improve you and make your bond with your partner even deeper.
When you have learned to handle awkward topics well, you have learned the next lesson in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Listen With An Open Mind
The fourth way to discover how to be a better listener in a relationship is to listen to your partner with an open mind.
Becoming a good listener in a relationship requires you to prepare well before your partner starts speaking to you.
This preparation doesn’t mean learning sophisticated techniques that are difficult to execute.
It means unlearning or clearing your mind of everything that can keep you from becoming a good listener.
It includes things like preconceived notions about what your partner will say.
When you think you know what your partner will say, you do not pay adequate attention to what they say.
By carrying preconceived notions before letting your partner talk, you become biased, indirectly leading to judging them.
You are not open or ready for what they have to say, and this is one of the worst traits a listener can have.
So, do not form opinions beforehand about what your partner will say to you.
It will also help keep you interested in what they say to you.
When you start listening to your partner with an open mind, you are one step closer to discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Exhibit The Right Expressions
The fifth thing you need to do to discover how to be a better listener in a relationship is to give the correct expressions at the right times.
A good listener not only listens but also absorbs it well within themselves.
They also signal to their partner, without actually saying it, that they understand what they are talking about.
They do it by using the correct facial expressions at the right moments.
So, if they seem serious about what they are talking about, do not laugh in between.
If they seem worried, show a little concern on your face, too.
These relevant expressions make them feel that you share their feelings and that they are not alone in their plight.
Doing so connects your heart and soul to theirs and makes you the dream listener and partner.
It’s possible that your patient listening gives your partner the strength they require to deal with their situation at that moment.
So, know when to stay serious, be concerned, or show positivity when your partner talks to you.
When you exhibit the correct expressions at the right moments, you have learned the next lesson in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Do Not Interrupt Your Partner
The sixth thing you need to do to learn how to be a better listener in a relationship is not to interrupt your partner unless required.
When your partner is talking to you, and you interrupt them and start talking, it can kill the conversation.
It can potentially piss them off and make them feel unattended and disrespected.
Sometimes, all your partner needs you to do is hear them out.
They may not expect a solution to their problem or to say things that make them feel better.
Venting may be all they need at that moment.
So, be aware of this possibility and be willing to listen to them without causing any interruptions.
The maximum you can do is nod or say small phrases like ‘I understand,’ ‘Everything is going to be okay,’ or ‘Don’t worry, you are not alone in this.’
To make your partner feel better, okay, or loved, you only need to listen to them.
When you do not interrupt your partner while talking, you have learned the next lesson in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Give Correct & Timely Responses
The seventh thing you need to do to learn how to be a better listener in a relationship is to give the correct responses at the right moments.
Sometimes, being a passive or a minimal listener might not be enough.
You may have to respond fully and effectively to your partner’s words.
For example, when your partner seems confused about their future, you may need to give them a little speech to calm them down.
You can tell them what you do when you feel this way and how it always works for you.
But doing this requires you to listen to them intently and get a hold of their feelings.
You demonstrate good listening skills when you grasp your partner’s words and emotions and give the exact response they need.
You cannot say something substantial that uplifts your partner’s mood without listening to them purposefully.
So, always be ready to respond correctly at the right moments.
It will keep you alert while listening to your partner, making you a “super-listener” in your relationship.
When you give correct and timely responses, you have learned the next lesson in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Hear What Is Not Said Aloud
The eighth thing you need to do to learn how to be a better listener in a relationship is to hear the unsaid message of your partner.
It’s an advanced-level trait of a good listener in a relationship.
An expert listener hears what is said to them, but they also hear many unsaid things buried deep within the speaker’s heart.
They capture the body language and the emotions of the speaker.
They master the art of “hearing between the lines,” i.e., the things the speaker cannot express or reveal.
It lets the listener know what the speaker needs at that given moment.
So, if you can hear your partner sobbing inside even when they do not appear to be so, hug them.
Make them feel relaxed, wanted, and loved without actually saying anything.
This trait of a good listener makes you the best listener anyone can have.
When you develop this level of listening skills, your relationship blossoms without you having to make any special or conscious effort.
When you start hearing what is not said, you have learned the final lesson in discovering how to be a better listener in a relationship.
Utilize Your Listening Skill To Its Fullest
Refusing to learn how to be a better listener in a relationship can be disastrous.
Listening is a crucial aspect of any relationship.
It has the potential to make or break a relationship.
So, if you want to share an unbreakable bond with your partner, you need to leverage it and improve as a listener.
It’s not a difficult task. You only need to give your partner a patient and selfless hearing.
It will nudge them into becoming a good listener, improving communication in the relationship.
This active and robust communication will go a long way in deepening mutual respect, understanding, and love.
As your love life blossoms, your self-love will also rise, making your life feel like a living dream.
So, learn how to be a better listener in a relationship and make your life a dream come true.