Your Relationship Doubt Is A Threat To You

Do you wonder, “How do I stop doubting my relationship?”

Did you know that when you doubt your relationship, your brain perceives it as a threat similar to any physical danger?

It means that relationship doubts have a much more profound impact on you than you think.

It not only shakes up your personal life but also causes emotional and psychological havoc.

Let’s begin by understanding what a ‘relationship doubt’ is.

What Does Doubting A Relationship Mean?

Doubting your relationship means that you do not believe everything is fine in the relationship. Relationship negativity keeps poking you and succeeds in getting your attention.

Doubting your relationship may make you feel that your partner doesn’t love you anymore, that he is not “the one” for you, or that your relationship will not last long.

It’s important to differentiate between a doubt and a passing feeling in your relationship, as the latter may resemble the former.

Doing so will tell you whether to act on the doubt or let the passing feeling pass.

Here are the main differences between a relationship doubt and a passing feeling.

Relationship Doubt vs. A Passing Feeling

Now, let’s look at some of the most common relationship doubts people face while in a relationship.

The Most Common Relationship Doubts

Compatibility Concerns:

Are we genuinely compatible in the long run?

Do we share the same values, goals, and lifestyle preferences?

Emotional Connection Doubt:

Do I love my partner, or is it just comfort/habit?

Do they love me as much as I love them?

Trust Issues:

Can I fully trust my partner?

Are they being honest and loyal?

Fear of Settling:

Am I staying just because I’m afraid of being alone?

Is this the best I can do, or am I compromising?

Future Uncertainty:

Do we want the same things in the future (marriage, kids, lifestyle)?

Can I see myself with this person in the long term?

Attraction Doubts:

Am I still physically or emotionally attracted to my partner?

Do they find me attractive?

Communication Issues:

Why don’t we communicate as well as we used to?

Are we drifting apart?

Lack of Spark or Excitement:

Has the relationship become dull or routine?

Can we reignite the passion?

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):

Am I missing out on better experiences or people?

What if there’s someone more suited for me?

External Influence Doubts:

Are my friends or family right about my partner?

Am I being influenced by others’ opinions?

You can use several signs to confirm these common doubts in your relationship.

Practical Signs of Doubt In A Relationship

If you notice one or more of the above-listed signs in yourself, you might be doubting your relationship.

But there is no need to panic; you are not alone, and there are subtle ways to overcome the issue.

Before we look at those ways, it’s essential to understand the underlying causes. 

There are specific causes that might give rise to doubts in a relationship. 

Let’s look at them one by one.

Causes Behind Doubts In A Relationship

1) Stress

It’s not a given that doubts in a relationship will be triggered only by relationship issues.

An external factor like stress can also push you towards doubting your relationship.

2) Relationship Uncertainty

Uncertainty regarding your partner’s decisions and the relationship’s future may lead to doubts.

3) Your Partner’s Fear of Commitment

If your partner fears commitment or losing their independence and single life, this may raise doubts about your relationship.

4) Your Partner’s Tendency To Self-Sabotage

If your partner doesn’t value the relationship and constantly threatens to break up, it might make you doubt your relationship.

5) Traumatic Past Experiences

If your previous relationships have given you more trauma than love, it might trick you into doubting your current relationship, too.

It’s also possible that your relationship’s past hasn’t been as expected, making you doubt the relationship or its future.

6) Lack of Communication

If you do not talk to your partner often or with an open heart, there are bound to be misunderstandings, making you doubt the relationship.

7) Insensitive or Disrespectful Partner

If your partner doesn’t treat you with respect and love, you may doubt your future with them.

8) Relationship Comparisons

Comparing your relationship with others is not fair, as it’s like comparing apples with oranges.

If you give into temptation, you will feel dissatisfied with your relationship at some point.

It will make you doubt your relationship even when everything is going fine.

9) Relationship Challenges

Every relationship goes through ups and downs.

If they are too big or too frequent in your case, they might make you want to give up on your relationship.

10) Career vs. Relationship

If your career is more or equally important to you but faces challenges due to your relationship, you might want to relook at the latter.

11) Overthinking

Sometimes, everything is going great, but overthinking your relationship makes you feel otherwise, making you doubt it.

12) Unmet Emotional Needs

Your emotional needs might be greater than what your partner caters to, making you doubt their intentions or the relationship itself.

13) Mismatched Expectations

Your expectations from your partner on many fronts might be greater than what they understand, value, or deliver.

It may make you doubt the relationship and rethink your future with them.

14) Insecurity or Low Self-Esteem

If you fear losing your partner or feel unworthy of love and a relationship, it might make you doubt your relationship for no reason.

15) Loss of Individual Identity

If you feel that your relationship has made you into someone you are not, you might feel that you have made a mistake by staying in it.

16) Lack of Quality Time

If you do not cherish your time with your partner, you might feel you are wasting it.

17) Emotional Baggage

If your childhood was difficult or you haven’t had stable and loving relationships in the past, you may start doubting your current relationship.

18) Unrealistic Romantic Expectations

If you fantasize about and long for a fairy-tale-like romantic story, but your partner is the opposite, you may doubt your relationship with them.

The above causes sow the seeds of doubt and discontent within your mind, which can cause havoc in your relationship.

Let’s look at some of the repercussions of doubting your relationship.

Adverse Effects of Doubting A Relationship

1) Damage To Trust

When you doubt your relationship, you subconsciously lower your trust in your partner.

This lack of trust might create a vicious cycle where your doubts grow stronger, both in number and intensity.

You might feel more confused, which can cause complications in the relationship.

2) Physical Distancing/Ignorance

When doubts overshadow love in your mind, you tend to avoid your partner.

You consciously keep a “safe” distance from them to avoid difficult conversations or hurting them.

3) Emotional Distance

When you doubt your relationship, you stop sharing your feelings and emotions with your partner.

It weakens the bond and threatens the relationship with misunderstandings, unnecessary quarrels, and even an ugly breakup.

4) Reduces Relationship Joy

When you are surrounded by doubts in your relationship, you cannot enjoy the time you spend with your partner.

The time spent around your partner may further your doubts, making you unhappier.

5) Higher Expectations From Partner

When doubts regarding your relationship grow, you start over-expecting from your partner.

They may be doing everything right to make the relationship work, but it might not feel like enough to you.

It might lead the relationship into a difficult place.

6) Fights & Arguments

When you doubt your relationship, it may all come out as harsh criticism of your partner.

You might blame them for not valuing the relationship enough, which may attract strong reactions from them.

Ultimately, you might end up in a big fight that further diverts your relationship from the right path.

7) Loss of Interest In The Relationship

Doubts in a relationship can easily make you feel bored, tired, and uninterested.

The relationship might also feel too burdensome and unworthy of your time and effort.

8) Weakens The Bond

Even strong relationships suffer when faced with doubts and distractions. 

The solid bond that partners used to share becomes weak, fragile, and susceptible to challenges.

9) Increased Possibility of Relationship Sabotage

When you are full of doubts regarding your partner or the relationship itself, you may subconsciously harm the relationship somehow.

Doubts can cause you not to value the relationship as much, which can trick you into sabotaging it.

10) Relationship Guilt

Relationship doubts may also cause guilt within you for not giving your hundred percent to the relationship.

It might hurt your self-worth or self-esteem, hence endangering the relationship further.

11) Rise of Self-Doubt

Doubts in a relationship also have the potential to fuel self-doubt.

Questioning your relationship might also make you question whether you are right or wrong.

12) Inconsistent Communication

Doubts in a relationship increase the distance between partners.

It makes them avoid difficult conversations and feel awkward even in normal ones.

It slowly reduces the frequency and interest in meaningful conversations, threatening the relationship.

13) Jealousy & Insecurity

Another unfortunate impact of doubting your relationship is feeling insecure all the time.

You feel jealous when your partner talks to his friends or ex.

You always feel your partner is hiding something from you and will sabotage the relationship.

This jealousy, insecurity, and constant doubt are unhealthy for the relationship’s future.

14) Decision Paralysis

When surrounded by doubts about your relationship, you cannot make informed choices or impactful decisions.

You do not see the point in making a progressive decision because you are unsure about your relationship’s future.

It hurts the relationship deeply in the future.

15) Emotional Exhaustion

Constant doubts about your relationship lead to chronic mental fatigue and emotional exhaustion.

You start feeling helpless as you do not see a way out of the endless relationship doubts.

16) Decreased Intimacy

When faced with relationship doubts, the intimacy factor, be it physical, mental, or emotional intimacy, takes a backseat.

The distance between partners grows, which causes even more complications and doubts.

17) Increased Vulnerability To External Influence

When you doubt your relationship, any negative opinion from your friends or family might fuel the fire.

It might aggravate the situation immensely, making your relationship brink!

But not all doubts are unhealthy!

There are also healthy doubts that lead to positive changes and growth in your relationship.

But how do we differentiate between a healthy and an unhealthy doubt?

Here are the main differences that separate a healthy doubt from an unhealthy one.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Doubts In A Relationship

Now that we understand relationship doubts well, let’s look at how to overcome them and save our relationship.

How Do I Stop Doubting My Relationship?

1) Define Your Objective In The Relationship

Knowing what you want from the relationship is of utmost importance.

Otherwise, you will feel lost, and doubts will grip your senses.

If you want love and respect from your partner and are getting it, there is no reason to doubt the relationship.

2) Figure Out The Cause Behind The Doubt

You need to hit the bull’s eye to overcome the relationship doubt!

So, figure out the reason behind your doubt. Is it your self-doubt, lack of trust, or your partner himself?

Use this article’s exhaustive list of possible causes to discover your unique cause.

When you know the cause, working on it and eliminating the relationship doubt becomes easier.

3) Spot The Pattern of The Doubt’s Occurrence

When does the doubt haunt you the most? Is there a specific time or situation when you get it? Or is it triggered by your partner’s particular behavior or something they say?

Spotting the pattern will clarify the cause and solution to the relationship doubt. 

4) Check The Validity of The Doubt

When you get the doubt, ask yourself – “Does this relationship doubt hold any significance? Or am I overthinking and being paranoid?”

Most of your relationship doubts will die at this point.

Thus, before believing your doubt, take a moment and ask yourself both of these questions.

Try collecting some evidence to support your doubt. If you cannot gather proof verifying your doubt, you can safely let it go!

5) Try Distracting Yourself

Most of the relationship doubts you get do not hold any significance.

If you stop giving them attention and invest your energy elsewhere, these doubts might not bother you again.

So, invest your energies into something productive that grabs your attention and interests you.

Try pursuing your favorite hobby, like reading your favorite book. 

6) Reexamine Compatibility

Compatibility issues may give rise to genuine relationship doubts.

So, examine if the compatibility that seemed great when you entered the relationship still holds.

Whatever the result, you will get a clear answer to your relationship doubt.

If compatibility is still present, you can let the doubt go. If it’s dwindling, you can talk to your partner and look for a solution.

7) Accept What You Can’t Change

If your doubt concerns uncertainty or something you don’t control, you must let it go!

In this case, the best you can do is accept the situation as it is, as you can’t change it.

For example, if you are worried about your relationship’s future, you must embrace the uncertainty and move on.

8) Fix Inter-personal Issues

Sometimes, the problem doesn’t lie on the outside; it lies within us.

If you had to face certain ugly situations in your past, you must not let them affect your present.

If you need, consult an expert to free you of your complicated past.

9) Foster Individual Growth

Working on oneself to improve one’s relationship skills and confidence can bust all relationship doubts.

Nurture trust, take more responsibility, and grow mature to become a better partner.

It might help turn your relationship doubt into a blessing in disguise!

10) Practice Emotional Regulation

Our emotions may be fragile and vulnerable to negativity, but you can still learn to control them.

We may be unable to control which emotions are evoked, but we can certainly decide how they affect us.

Choose peace & happiness over all the doubt & chaos in your relationship.

11) Create Positive Rituals

Indulging regularly in positive activities like gratitude journaling or end-of-the-day reflections will have a significant positive impact.

It will replace the relationship doubts with positivity, gratitude, and fulfillment.

12) Become A Better Partner

Sometimes, the reason for the relationship doubt isn’t our partner but ourselves.

Maybe we feel we are not good enough partners, which fuels our relationship doubts.

Thus, becoming a better partner through acts like improving our listening skills will help overcome the doubt.

13) Use Positive Relationship Affirmations

Affirmations are another daily positive ritual you must adopt.

Say things like, “I trust my partner,” “I have faith in my relationship,” or “My relationship grows stronger every day.”

Before you know it, relationship positivity and belief will replace the relationship doubt.

14) Shut Out Negativity

The negativity that enters you secretly is a significant source of your relationship doubts.

Thus, do not entertain people or their baseless opinions against your partner or your relationship.

Also, reduce your exposure to negative news and social media, which can easily shake you mentally.

15) Limit External Influence

Make your relationship solely your business, and do not depend on relationship advice from others.

Do not let others dictate or direct the path of your relationship.

Feeling lost or doubtful about your relationship will become evident if you do.

16) Stop Comparing Your Relationship With That of Others

Every relationship is different and is governed by different rules and standards.

Thus, comparing your relationship with others is neither fair nor rational.

Sooner or later, relationship comparisons will create doubts and problems.

So, safeguard your relationship by looking at it as different and unique.

17) Stop Overthinking Your Relationship

Thinking about your relationship gives you ideas, but overthinking gives rise to doubts.

Know when to stop thinking about your partner and relationship by drawing positive thought boundaries.

18) Build Confidence In Your Relationship

Confidence in a relationship doesn’t come on its own, and you must work towards building it.

The four pillars of confidence in a relationship are compatibility, love, care, and respect.

If you have these virtues in your relationship, you will have the confidence in your relationship to withstand time and challenges.

19) Talk To Your Partner Heart-To-Heart

There isn’t a better, simpler, or more effective way to overcome a relationship doubt.

Whenever you see a relationship doubt rising in your mind, pour it out in front of your partner.

Please do not put it in a rough or complaining way, but as your genuine concern.

An honest and mature discussion over doubt will help to bust it before it becomes an issue. 

20) Use “I” Statements During Conversations

Using “I” statements in a conversation helps make it sound more genuine than complaining.

For example, you could say, “I feel ignored,” rather than, “You ignore me.”

Talking this way will help garner your partner’s respect, concern, and attention.

So, always use “I” statements when discussing doubts about your relationship with your partner.

21) Ask For Your Partner’s Support

Some relationship doubts, especially those involving them, may not be manageable without the support of your partner.

For example, if you feel the trust in the relationship dwindling, talk to them.

Ask for their support to overcome the doubt and strengthen the relationship.

Reach a mutually agreeable and convenient plan to overcome the doubt, with all the necessary rules that need to be set.

22) Rebuild Trust And Positive Boundaries

Many times, it’s better to start afresh rather than try to fix the issue.

It gives you a clearer view of the issue and an opportunity to advance the relationship.

So, forget the past and take steps together to rebuild trust in the relationship.

Decide the dos and don’ts of the relationship to strengthen the trust factor and ensure no breaches.

23) Prioritize Quality Time Together

Spend quality time together, which involves honest confessions, productive discussions, and humor.

It will help clear all doubts, rebooting the relationship to a fresh start.

24) Be Open To Change And Compromise

Being too rigid in one’s ways in a relationship might also raise relationship doubts.

It might give the feeling that your partner is imposing a change on you when it’s the relationship’s demand.

Hence, it’s crucial that you are open to change and prepared to compromise for the growth of the relationship.

25) Consult A Personal/Relationship Expert

If you cannot determine the cause or find a solution to the relationship doubt, you must consult an expert.

It will save you a lot of trauma and time while dealing with the relationship doubt.

A relationship or personal expert can help you with internal and external issues.

26) Be Patient

A relationship doubt, like any other doubt, takes time to heal. 

Expecting quick solutions might lead to disappointment and even more doubts.

So, be patient during the whole process while you work on yourself or your relationship.

Patience might be the missing link in your relationship that is causing doubts.

27) Feel Free To Quit The Relationship If It’s Turned Toxic

If it’s not a relationship doubt but a toxic relationship, you must leave it as soon as possible.

To do so, learn to differentiate between a relationship doubt and a toxic relationship.

It’s not difficult if you choose not to be ignorant about it.

Ask yourself how you feel about the relationship. Talk to your family and friends about it. You can also take the help of an expert.

If the consensus says it’s a toxic relationship, it’s time to move on!

How To Turn A Relationship Doubt Into An Advantage?

Did you know you can turn your relationship doubts into advantages for yourself?

Here is how you can do it.

Create A Relationship Free Of Doubts

A relationship without doubts, fears, or insecurities should be your goal.

Here is what a relationship without doubts or concerns looks like.

Signs of a Doubt-Free Relationship

Aim for these virtues in your relationship to make your relationship a shining star with soothing light in your life.