Forgiveness For A Simpler Life
Why is forgiveness so hard?
Have you ever given it a serious thought?
No human being is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
Sometimes, they are voluntary and on other occasions, they are things that are beyond the control of people.
Hence, when they realize their mistake and accept them, we should forgive them.
Forgiveness is a noble gesture that not only relieves the person we forgive but also frees us.
It lets us live a life of inner peace and fulfillment with no undue burden upon us.
But still, forgiveness isn’t an easy thing to do.
Many times we are not able to forgive people for their mistakes even when we want to.
We are not able to understand why this happens.
If we could know these reasons, we could work on them and make ourselves more and naturally forgiving.
It would make our lives a lot simpler and much brighter.
So, why is forgiveness so hard for people?
Why Is Forgiveness So Hard
So, why is forgiveness so hard and how can we make it easier for ourselves?
Wrong Notion Of Forgiveness
The first answer to ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is that we have a wrong notion of forgiveness in our minds.
Generally, people think that forgiveness means to relieve the culprit of his actions altogether.
They think it means giving the wrong-doer permission or allowance to do the same things again.
But this is not what forgiveness means.
Nobody can relieve a person of his actions, karma gets everyone.
If someone has done something wrong, he or she will get the corresponding punishment naturally in some form or the other.
Besides this, when you forgive someone who has done something wrong to you, you do not invite more chaos into your life.
It just means that you are no longer holding any grudges against them for what they have done.
So, if they make the same mistake again, it’s not cool, and they are not allowed by us or anyone to do it.
Thus, forgiveness isn’t about the culprit but about you.
It is meant to relieve you of the burden you hold within yourself in the form of being unforgiving.
It is meant to free you and not the mistake-doer.
If you see this, forgiveness will be much easier for you.
When you correct your notion of forgiveness, the question ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is no more perplexing to you.
Myth Of A Simpler Life
The next answer to ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is that we think that not forgiving someone makes our lives simpler.
People think that by not forgiving others they can cut them out of their lives which would make their lives simpler.
They feel that the process of forgiving is too complex and they will have to go through unmanageable emotions & experiences.
Also, they believe that once they forgive someone, the other person will make their life more complex with their presence.
Hence, it’s much easier to not forgive than to forgive someone.
But this is a myth too.
The process of forgiving seems difficult or complex only because people don’t have the correct knowledge of it.
They don’t understand how simple it is to forgive somebody.
It takes you to say “I forgive you”.
It’s only because people haven’t developed the mental readiness for forgiving someone, they think it to be a complex method.
Also, not forgiving someone makes your life more complex than forgiving them.
By the presence of that person, it may add to your work and responsibilities.
But when you don’t forgive them, you forgo the freedom that comes from it.
Thus, you remain anxious and stressed all the time due to all the grudges you have held inside you.
It reduces your efficiency in life, hence making it more complex.
Thus, not forgiving someone doesn’t make life simpler, on the contrary, it makes life more complex.
When you learn this, the question ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is no more perplexing to you.
Rigidity
The next answer to ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is that people are rigid.
It requires you to work very hard to achieve success in all your endeavors.
It requires you to be persistent and it wants you not to give up easily.
That’s how you achieve success in anything.
But people are not able to differentiate between success and other things.
They don’t know where to be persistent and where to let go.
They feel whatever they are today, it’s because of their persistence.
So, they cannot forgive someone once they have “marked” them wrong.
They feel if they forgave someone, it would be like giving up who they are.
They don’t realize that in the quest to become persistent in life, they have crossed their limit and become rigid.
So, even when they want to forgive someone, they are not able to because their mind doesn’t permit them to do so.
Thus, it’s the rigid minds of people that make forgiveness super hard for them.
When you stop being rigid, the question ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is no more perplexing to you.
Sense Of Power
The next answer to ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is that holding grudges against someone feels like power.
Who doesn’t like power and influence?
You may not be the king of a city or state but you surely are the leader of your own life.
And you can extend this “power” to the lives of others by not forgiving them.
Thus, deciding whether someone stays in your life or not feels like wielding power.
It is a way to enhance the importance of self and hence feel superior to the ones you don’t forgive.
But what is the use of the power that diminishes you and makes you suffer?
Negative power is common, what holds weight is positive power that comes from forgiveness.
When you forgive others, you free them from repeating the same mistake.
But not everybody can let go of the need to feel powerful.
You must have noticed that people who are already in high and important positions aren’t able to forgive others.
It’s because the thirst for power never ends.
Whereas the poor and the so-called weak, are generally the ones who are quick to forgive and love.
Thus, if you want to be more forgiving, give up your lust for power.
When you give up your lust for power, the question ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is no more perplexing to you.
Myth Of Punishing The Wrong-Doer
The next answer to ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is that they think that by not forgiving someone, they are punishing THEM.
Had they known that punishing someone else is a bigger punishment to themselves, they would have forgiven people.
Sometimes, when people do not forgive someone, that person may not even know about it.
But the unforgiving person lives with it for the rest of his life.
Who do you think suffers more?
But the unforgiving person doesn’t know this.
It’s like taking poison yourself but expecting the other person to die.
Thus, to be forgiving, people should know that it hurts them more than the person they do not forgive.
When you learn this, the question ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is no more perplexing to you.
Maintaining The “Tough” Image
The next answer to ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is that many people feel their image of being a “tough guy” is at stake.
People think that once they blame someone they should maintain their position.
If they forgave that person, people would think that they had gone soft and their image would be ruined.
They would be made fun of.
People would also think that they were wrong in the first instance which is why they made a u-turn.
It would also hurt their ego and showcase them as someone with a weak will.
People create such unreasonable and unnecessary pressure upon themselves which is how they make forgiveness extremely difficult for themselves.
We must forget about our fake social image and care about doing the right thing.
Nothing is more important than your inner peace and the attitude of forgiveness is capable of giving you that.
Thus, if you can stop thinking about your image, you will become more forgiving naturally.
When you give up your fake image of being a tough guy, the question ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ is no more perplexing to you.
Forgiveness Is A Way Of Life
The question ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’ doesn’t have a straight or simple answer to it.
But there are subtle ways to make yourself more forgiving.
Till you keep seeing forgiveness as an act, it won’t happen for you, at least not naturally.
You have to adopt forgiveness as a way of life.
Thus, you don’t have to forgive somebody, you have to forgive yourself.
It can easily be done by adopting gratitude in your daily life.
When you are filled with gratitude, there cannot be any space for grudges.
It will make you infinitely forgiving.
And when you become more thankful and more forgiving, you would also be filled with infinite self love.
That’s the beauty of good things, they can all stay within you together in harmony with each other.
They keep fuelling each other and help you grow and achieve your best self and hence your best possible life.
Now that you have found the answer to ‘Why is forgiveness so hard’, use it for yourself to become more forgiving to others.
