Updated On: February 15, 2025
Self-love is The Foundation of Love
Love, without a doubt, is the most beautiful feeling in the world. But what does loving someone have to do with self-love? The truth is love and self-love are intricately linked.
When we are in love, the person we love seems fascinating and adorable. So, is it the person we love, or is there something much more profound that stimulates love within us?
On the surface, it seems that the person we love has given rise to love within us. It is because we couldn’t feel the love before they came into our lives. But can someone generate something within us that is already absent or that we are not capable of? No!
People we love only bring out what we already have inside us. These people are just triggers, and we are and have always been the actual source of love to ourselves. It means that even if we don’t love someone, love still exists within us.
But what form of love is it? It is self-love! The love that is necessary to keep you alive, interested, and happy.
Nature has given us a certain essential amount of love or self-love. Whether we maintain, grow, or reduce it, it’s up to us.
If we cannot cultivate self-love but fall in love with someone, this is the beginning of a big problem in our lives. A relationship without self-love is bound to become a mess. It’s the standard way a war between love and self-love begins.
‘Love’ in The Absence of SelfLove
Love and self-love are interdependent.
When we are in love, everything feels right. It helps us face life’s difficulties calmly, easily, and confidently. Love makes even the most demanding partner seem endearing to you. But all this happens when you already love yourself.
When the love within you declines or is absent, it becomes difficult to love others. You may try staying single for some time but eventually realize it isn’t working. You find yourself in a tricky situation where you need love but have no internal or external source.
So, you choose to find someone who can be your external source of love. But when love becomes a desperate search, your “love story” is bound to become ugly. Even if you find the perfect person, you tend to feel otherwise and start messing it up.
You put the added burden of generating love for you on that person, and when they cannot live up to your expectations, you feel the person doesn’t love you anymore.
It’s important to know that it’s nobody’s fault. The underlying problem, the lack of self-love, weakens and ultimately breaks a beautiful relationship.
It’s how most relationships break and come to a sad end. A lack of self-love can root out even the most robust relationships. When someone stops loving themselves, even their decades-old relationship lands in the “Threatened zone.”
Ultimately, both love and self-love suffer.
Self-love is A Superpower
When handled well, the connection between love and self-love can be empowering.
If you know how to love yourself, you can even handle a painful breakup maturely. It’s because you know that you won’t go “Love-dry” without them. You have enough self-love to survive the challenging situation and produce more if needed.
Thus, self-love lets you forgive others or yourself by making you self-sufficient in love and compassion.
This “superpower” makes people want to have a relationship with you, so you always feel wanted, loved, and happy.
When you genuinely love yourself, the whole world seems friendly and beautiful. You can pick and choose the best things for yourself.
This means we must learn to nurture and grow self-love consistently. This will allow both love and self-love to flourish in our lives, making them feel complete.
Thus, for love to blossom, you first need self-love to shine within you.
Developing Self Love and Self Compassion
Before we try to ENHANCE love and self-love, we first need to DEVELOP self-love and self-compassion within ourselves.
Self-love and self-compassion don’t rise independently; you must cultivate them consistently.
Ways To Practice Self-Love
Here are some simple ways to practice self-love & self-compassion:
- Stop having unreasonable expectations from yourself.
- Stop multitasking to feel peaceful.
- Give up judging yourself constantly.
- Stop being self-critical about your failures.
- Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.
- Feel ‘Enough’ the way you are to embrace self-acceptance.
- Keeping your inner child alive by pursuing your favorite hobby as a child.
- Take good care of your mental and physical health.
- Give yourself some ‘Me-time’ to reconnect with your true self.
- Meditate to find inner peace.
- Nurture the habit of journaling to know yourself better.
- Filter & reorganize your thoughts to develop a stable, positive, & progressive mindset.
- Strive to become a better, kind, and compassionate human being.
- Find the correct work-life balance.
- Set positive boundaries to keep yourself more positive.
These practices to cultivate self-love in your life would go a long way toward making you self-sufficient in love. They will also help you establish and nurture successful relationships.
The Difference Between Love And Self Love
Love and self-love may look very similar, but they have a fundamental difference. The difference is ‘you.’
Love is a natural emotion within us, but we are instinctively outward-oriented. So, we think that love can only be expressed externally. Due to this mistaken belief, we overlook loving ourselves.
But when we realize we can love ourselves and start loving ourselves, the difference between love and self-love disappears. Self-love helps us share a beautiful bond with our partners, which refuels our self-love to even greater heights.
Thus, a positive cycle of love is created in our lives when the difference between love and self-love is no longer there.
Which Love Is True Love?
This question confuses many people. Some think ‘love’ is true love, while others feel ‘self-love’ is superior.
So, what’s the truth?
If you look closely, it’s easy to see that self-love has the upper hand. Self-love is fundamental to your existence. Without self-love, there is no ‘You. ‘If you aren’t there, there is no question of love in your life.
Can you imagine yourself living a long life without having love within yourself? It would be nothing less than a torture.
So, yes, self-love is true love because, in its absence, life loses meaning.
However, this doesn’t mean every other love is untrue or impure. You may love your family or your partner in the truest sense of the word. But for that to happen, your self-love needs to be true. Only if you can truly love yourself will your love for others hold significance. It’s because every other love is just an extension of your self-love.
So, if you are still thinking, ‘Is self-love the best love?’ Try finding a purer and more natural love relationship than love for yourself. Something that keeps you alive despite all the life challenges must be the best love, right?
Thus, self-love wins comprehensively.
Is Self-Love A Love Magnet?
Does self-love attract love? Yes. It’s true! Self-love attracts love like a magnet.
How? You must have seen that people automatically get attracted to us when we are full of self-love and happiness.
Why does this happen?
The reason is that these people themselves are short on self-love or love in their lives. So, when they see someone glowing with self-love, they want to stay in their company. They feel that maybe you can provide for the lack of love in their lives with your surplus self-love.
That is how self-love attracts more attention, appreciation, and love.
Does Guided Meditation For Self-Compassion Help?
Can guided meditation help you love yourself or develop self-compassion?
It does help in some instances. Particularly, it helps those who find it extremely difficult to love themselves. So, an external hand in guided meditation helps them open up and discover the love within.
Thus, it’s ideal if you can develop self-love through self-realization, but even if you can’t, you still have hope.
If you have been through a lot of trauma in the past, guided meditation is the way to make self-love possible again.
And when you become capable of self-love, the doors to love and better relationships also open up.
Self-love is The Foundation of Love
Love and self-love are intimately connected. Self-love is the foundation of love. Only when you love yourself can you build happy, strong, and successful relationships.
So, practice self-love and self-compassion to attract all the love in the universe and fill your life with the things that matter the most to you!