Updated On: February 5, 2025
Do you lack friends and long to be loved?
It’s a complex and ironic situation. But the good news is that there is a way out.
After reading this article, you will know how to love yourself when you have no friends.
Fasten your seat belts, as I will answer every question you have related to this issue. You will learn to survive and thrive in the absence of friends.
And when you learn to love yourself, everyone will want to be friends with you.
First, I will tell you a natural way to love yourself when you do not have any friends. Then, I will answer some related questions to clarify your doubts.
So, let’s dive straight in!
Why Friends Are Important In One’s Life
Humans naturally need love; when we don’t get it from external sources, we need to generate it ourselves! We will soon see how.
Here are some of the biggest reasons why one may not have any friends.
I hope you found your reason in the list above.
Now, let’s understand how having (or not having) friends affects our lives’ supply of love (or self-love).
A person’s friend circle is a natural and essential source of love. When you have friends, they shower you with affection and appreciation, making you feel relaxed, wanted, and complete.
The fact that you have friends who love you makes you feel worthy of love. It convinces you to start loving yourself. It also helps your self-love grow consistently.
You can have all the fun in the world with them, which makes you happy and makes it easier to love yourself.
But what happens to self-love when you don’t have any friends?
I will not lie to you to make you feel better. I will tell you the real thing so you can face it and overcome it.
So, here goes. It does become a little hard to love yourself when you have no friends!
When you don’t have any friends, you start to overlook your need for love. You become full of self-doubt. You try to act “strong,” which doesn’t let you love yourself.
It may even get so bad that you start feeling unworthy of love.
And this is what you need to undo.
It’s Possible To Love Yourself Even If You Don’t Have Any Friends
Remember, it’s OK not to have friends, but it’s not OK not to have love in your life.
Not having friends may be a personal choice or an imposed compulsion, but it doesn’t mean you must remain loveless.
A few years ago, I chose to get away from all my friends because I felt I didn’t have any real ones.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but I needed to work on myself before making friends.
During this time, I was too harsh on myself and devoid myself of self-love.
Slowly, I learned how to love myself when I didn’t have any friends.
Today, I have friends, but I would be OK with just myself, too.
It’s all because I know how to love myself when no one is around for me.
I want to share this with you so you can also love yourself when you have no friends.
So, this is what you need to do…
How To Love Yourself When You Have No Friends
Do not think negatively or any less of yourself.
When you don’t have any friends, it’s natural to think less of yourself. It feels like you are the reason why you don’t have friends.
You start doubting and criticizing yourself. You look for flaws and tend to hate yourself for being different. Don’t do this to yourself!
If you can’t think positively or appreciate yourself, stop being critical of yourself.
Be compassionate and kind to yourself.
To stay positive when you don’t have any friends, use self-talk, affirmations, and journaling.
This is how you can change your mindset from positive to negative when you don’t have any friends.
Learn to stay alone.
When you don’t have any friends, you cannot start loving yourself instantly. You need to build it bit by bit. You will need to work on yourself, which also involves a lot of patience.
To begin with, you have to be just OK about being alone. You need to accept your situation and yourself wholeheartedly. If you can’t be optimistic about it, you should at least be indifferent.
The easiest way to do this is to give it some time. The more time you spend with yourself, the better you understand yourself. It will help you come to peace with yourself.
Learn to have fun with yourself.
Everybody has things they like to do. Take up your long-lost hobbies or the things you love to do and rekindle the magic.
It may involve listening to music, watching your favorite movies, eating your favorite food, going on a solo trek or camp, or visiting your favorite destinations.
It may take a lot of strength and determination to start doing these things alone. But trust me, doing things that make you happy will give you the initial boost you need.
It will give you the confidence to enjoy your life alone and remind you that you don’t need someone else to make yourself happy.
Take care of yourself.
If you ask me, not having any friends is a blessing in disguise. Groups aren’t ideal for promoting an individual’s well-being. They tend to make you ignore yourself and your needs.
Thus, being alone gives you much time and opportunity to focus on yourself and your needs. You can work on your health, create a balanced routine, and focus on your mental and emotional well-being and growth.
You can do everything you couldn’t do with friends.
Focus on your career and financial growth.
Career and material growth are among a person’s most important goals. But often, they suffer because of unnecessary time spent with friends.
You can save your precious time and energy when you don’t have any friends. You can use this time to develop a skill and become an expert.
It will help you garner a successful professional life and raise your self-esteem.
Spend time with people who love you, like your family or partner.
People who love us always remind us of how special we are. They love us unconditionally, which helps us love ourselves.
Unfortunately, we undermine their presence, effort, and importance. It’s a general habit to prefer friends over family. Refrain from making this mistake.
Unleash the untapped love of your family by spending time with them. It will help you forget the absence of friends in your life. And it will give you the natural will to love yourself more.
Become your best friend.
The abovementioned things are enough to love yourself when you don’t have any friends. But if you still need a friend, become your best friend yourself.
It’s strange why we look for friends only outside. If we look inside, we can find the best friend we can ever have—a friend who will never cheat you, someone you can trust unquestioningly.
The only thing you need is to invest in yourself as a friend. We all know what is good for us and what will make us happy. Just start doing those things.
And when you become your own best friend, you will automatically start loving yourself. You won’t need any external friend for validation or support.
Here is a flowchart representing how being your own best friend helps you start loving yourself.
Self-Transformation Leads To Self-Love
To love yourself, you don’t need friends but a good look into your life. When you clear the mess and organize yourself, self-love will come naturally to you.
At this point, you will notice that you have become your own best friend. You can then choose to have or not have friends. Thus, you will become wise enough to have the correct number and quality of friends.
Your life will transform, and your love for yourself will grow boundlessly.
Now, as promised, let’s address some of the questions (FAQs) you may have about the issue.
FAQs
What are the possible reasons for not having any friends?
Not having any friends may be a personal choice or an imposed compulsion. As a personal choice, one may choose not to have any friends to pursue a higher purpose, like better personal growth. As an imposed compulsion, people may alienate a person if they are different in some way. It’s also noticed that highly intelligent or successful people tend not to have any friends.
What happens to self-love when you don't have any friends?
It depends on the person and how they respond to the situation. If a person relies on external love to stimulate their self-love, self-love may suffer in the absence of friends. But if a person can generate love for themselves, not having any friends will not reduce but enhance self-love as compensation.
Does not having any friends mean that you are unworthy of love?
No. Your worthiness of love doesn’t come from your external situations. It comes from your beliefs and what you think about it. Even if you don’t have any friends, you can still believe you deserve love and create it for yourself, both internally and from external sources. As God’s rule of thumb, every human being is worthy of love and happiness, and so are you reading this right now.
Does self-love become difficult when you don't have any friends?
As a beginner, yes. When you don’t have friends, you may be engulfed by negative thinking, self-doubt, and self-criticism. But if you can let it all go and pass this phase, you become a natural source of self-love or love for yourself. Eventually, you become self-dependent and self-sufficient in self-love.
Should you love yourself even more when you have no friends?
Yes. When your supply of love from external sources falls, you should take that responsibility upon yourself and love yourself more. Unfortunately, most people lose hope when they don’t have any friends. The key is not to give up and stay positive. At the right time, self-love will rise on its own within them.
How do you become your own best friend?
To become your best friend, consider what your best friend would have done for you if you had one. And then you should do those things for yourself. These things include being honest with yourself, always doing what is right for you, standing up for yourself, and believing in yourself and your abilities, among other things.
How to stop feeling lonely when you have no friends?
There are two ways to do this. Loneliness is only a state of mind, so the first way is to make yourself mentally strong. It means developing a healthy relationship with yourself where you can enjoy your company. Secondly, you can spend time with the people you love, like your family, partner, or pets.
How do you make yourself happy when you have no friends?
To be happy, having friends isn’t a must. You need to be at peace with yourself. So, understand yourself and accept yourself as you are. The next step will happen on its own: to do the things you love. Also, chalk out a daily routine to live a healthy and balanced life. When life gets simple, happiness becomes easy.
How do you stay happy when you have no friends?
Becoming happy and staying that way are two completely different things. If you feel so glad but aren’t able to hold onto it, stop trying too hard to do so. Happiness cannot be sustainable when you become desperate for it. Accept that you don’t have friends, and do not let it bother you. Finally, consistently keep doing the things that make you happy.
How to survive when you have no friends?
When you don’t have any friends, survival becomes difficult for two reasons. First, you have to go through self-doubt. Positive self-talk is the key to overthinking and self-doubt. Tell yourself, ‘I am enough,’ ‘I am not alone,’ and ‘I am my best friend.’ Second, there needs to be someone to support or help you. Take it as a challenge, as challenges bring out our best. Take things as they come and keep doing what needs to be done. Do not give up; you will become a fighter and survivor before you know it.
What to do when you have no friends and everyone hates you?
Not having friends isn’t a problem; it’s an opportunity to explore and befriend yourself. And if everyone hates you, it’s their problem, not yours. Hate is a fire that burns the person who harbors it, not the person against whom it is held. A person full of hatred is lonely and scared inside. So, do not see it as something against you. Just pray for the person who hates you.
How to entertain yourself when you have no friends?
Friends are a great source of entertainment, but if you don’t have any, you can still enjoy your life. The first step is to believe this. Next, you should explore your favorite sources of entertainment like music, movies, reading, or anything else that entertains you and brings you alive. When you feel bored, instead of feeling bad about being lonely, do what excites you to your core.
How to have fun in life without friends?
Fun is different from entertainment. The difference is that of being ‘active.’ To have fun while doing something, you should be at the center of it. For example, you can dance to your favorite numbers, go solo partying, go on a solo date, treat yourself to your favorite restaurant, or take a vacation to your favorite destination. The bottom line is to have fun with yourself and do things that give you that necessary adrenaline rush.
How to enjoy life without friends?
To enjoy life, having friends isn’t a compulsion. If you want to enjoy life without friends, follow the simple rule of doing what makes you happy. Make a list of such things and do them one by one every day, every week, or every month, depending on your availability of time and need to stay happy. Sometimes, enjoying life alone may seem complicated. Still, in such instances, you must take it as a challenge and do what is required.
How to tell if you don't have any friends?
If you spend most of your time in your own company or the company of your family, it’s a sign you don’t have any friends. But you should not consider yourself to have friends if you have “virtual” friends. Social media friends aren’t your real friends. Similarly, people who talk nice and stab you in the back aren’t your real friends either. Another rule of thumb is that if you are different or too intelligent, you most likely won’t have any friends.
What to do when no one wants you?
When no one wants you, you may feel bad about yourself. But the key lies in not feeling the same way for yourself. Do not allow your self-esteem to fall. If it falls, find ways to pull it up and develop self-worth. Believe that you deserve all the good things you want in life. Be happy and proud of yourself for the way you are. Work on yourself and develop a wholesome personality. When you do, people will no longer have a choice but be attracted to you.
What do you call a person with no friends?
A person with no friends is known by relatively acceptable terms like a ‘loner,’ ‘shy,’ or ‘unsociable.’ But they are also known by some rude or insensitive terms like a ‘nerd,’ ‘nobody,’ ‘loser,’ and even ‘crazy.’ Do not feel bad or offended if you are being ridiculed for not having any friends. There is a price for being different, which you should be OK with. Be your best friend and love yourself in a way that makes you indifferent to rude behavior from people.
How do I accept that I have no friends?
Accepting that you don’t have friends is difficult because you feel different. You are made fun of or even bullied. You may start losing confidence in yourself. But never give up, do not try to change yourself, and never stop believing in yourself. Constantly remind yourself, ‘You are enough.’ Be your best friend, patiently stay who you are, and your real friends will find you. Knowing that good things take time will help you accept your lack of friends.
Is it normal to not have any friends?
Yes. It may not be common, but it’s definitely normal not to have any friends. Many people choose not to have any friends so that they can better focus on themselves. If you don’t have any friends, don’t feel disheartened; take it as an opportunity to work on yourself. Some of the most successful people in life didn’t have any friends, which helped them get where they are today.
Is it normal to have no friends as an adult?
Yes. As an adult, there is so much personal, professional, and familial responsibility on you that you may not have the time to make friends. Moreover, as an adult, you do not have many real friends. So, people consciously choose not to have any friends. But not having any friends should not mess with your mental health. If you need friends, you should either become your best friend, make new friends, or get in touch with your old or childhood friends.
Is it common to have no friends?
No. It’s not common to have no friends. Most people do have friends and have a lot of fun with them. But this doesn’t mean that people who do not have friends are wrong or worse in any way. It also doesn’t mean that these people can’t have fun in their lives. It only means they are different, which is normal and understandable. So, you should not feel bad or somehow try to make friends. You should accept not having any friends and wait for the right ones at the right time.
What happens to a person with no friends?
When people don’t have friends, they start to doubt themselves. If they do not take control of the situation, this self-doubt can quickly become a lack of trust in themselves, creating a sub-par life. But if you can take being friendless positively, it can elevate you to a whole new dimension of life. It can help you love yourself and thus find meaning and purpose.
How do you start over when you have no friends?
Stop running after people and trying to be friends with them. Take it positively; if it helps, take it as a challenge. Develop self-belief and become OK with being alone. Work on yourself, do what you love, and start loving yourself. When you become your best friend, people will magically come to you to be friends with you.
What percent of people have no friends?
According to several surveys conducted in the United States in 2021, 12% of adults admitted they had no close friends. This number has risen significantly from just 3% in 1991. Thus, the number of people in the United States without friends is growing. This number is expected to increase as people try harder to connect with their inner selves and find self-love before loving others.
Is it OK to never have a friend?
By choice, yes. But it’s not healthy when you do not have any friends, even though you feel like having them. It takes a toll on your mental health and makes you feel unwanted and lonely. So, if you want to have friends, you should have them so that you can share your feelings and have fun with them. If you can’t make any, be your best friend first and you will attract many new friends into your life.
How does having no friends affect your mental health?
Not having any friends may create several mental issues, such as self-doubt and overthinking, self-hatred, loneliness, anxiety, and even depression. Thus, it’s important that if you are not able to find any friends externally, you befriend and love yourself. Having yourself as your best friend fills you with self-esteem, self-love, a sense of fulfillment, and inner calm. It boosts your mental health, which becomes the foundation of your material and other successes in life.
What happens to your brain when you have no friends?
According to various studies, when you have no friends, loneliness decreases the volume in the Hippocampus, a region in the human brain responsible for memory formation and retrieval. Another part of the brain, the Thalamus, gets negatively impacted, which weakens the processing of one’s emotions. Chronic loneliness is sometimes associated with lower cognitive abilities like decision-making and problem-solving.
Is it damaging to have no friends?
Not having friends can be damaging only if you allow it to be. Do not allow loneliness to mess with your mind and life, as it can push you into depression and trauma. Take control of your life, love yourself first or on priority, befriend yourself, and have fun with yourself. Be playful and explore life solo as you are capable of it. But if you find life too difficult to cope without any friends, consult an expert like a life coach, psychologist, or mental health practitioner.
How to be confident when you have no friends?
Friends are a source of confidence as they help you when needed. They also give you the confidence to be sociable. But you can still have that confidence even if you have no friends. The key lies in developing self-belief by working hard on yourself. Become skillful to suit your needs. Take help from your family or your partner if need be. Also, develop good communication skills, which makes you capable enough to talk even with strangers. When you have essential social and life skills, you will feel more confident even when you don’t have any friends.
Who to talk to when you have no friends?
Expressing your feelings to someone is very important for mental health. When you don’t have any friends, you can talk to your family, i.e., your father, mother, or siblings. If you have a partner, you can also speak to them. But if you still feel like talking to a friend, you can indulge in self-talk. Self-talk is a potent tool to uplift your mood and boost your confidence. So, talk to yourself about your fears, concerns, likes, dislikes, etc. It will also help you understand yourself better, thus deepening your bond with yourself.
What can a person with no friends do?
You can do several activities to keep yourself interested even if you don’t have any friends. These include:
Reading
Journaling
Doing Yoga
Listening to your favorite music
Watching your favorite genre movies
Going on a solo trek
Going for a solo camping trip
Travelling to your favourite destinations around the world
What is a good quote that I can live by when I don't have any friends?
“Having good friends is power, but being alone is a superpower.”
– Anonymous
This simple quote has a deep meaning. It doesn’t diminish the importance of having friends, but it also makes you realize the untapped superpower that resides within you when you are alone. So, even if you don’t have any friends, do not think you are alone. Believe in yourself and unleash the power you were born with. It’s the best friend you can ever have.
What is the psychology that is needed to love yourself when you don't have any friends?
When you don’t have any friends, to love yourself, you need to tell yourself, ‘I am enough.’ This will protect you from feeling bad about yourself when you are alone. It will help you indulge in self-care, self-nurturing, and self-growth. Ultimately, it will give you the self-belief to take life’s challenges by their thorns. By living with this attitude, you will develop the personality needed to live a meaningful and fulfilled life.
What to do if you have no friends at school?
The most important thing is to never feel bad or weak about yourself for not having friends. When you feel confident, look for like-minded people around you. Recall what you are good at and where your interests lie, and then look for people with similar attributes or interests. Always keep a smile on your face, which comes in handy in attracting people. Be positive, as it will project a positive image of you and lure people into being friends with you.
What to do when you have no friends and are bored at home?
An interesting thing you can do is host yourself a solo party. Decorate your house to your liking. Order your favorite food and drink. Put on your favorite music. Dance, express yourself, and feel good about yourself. Talk to yourself about your life, about what you love about yourself. Make plans for where you want to be in the next 5 years and promise to work hard. Eventually, watch a feel-good movie and then read yourself to sleep with your favorite book or novel.
Do people who have friends don't need self-love?
Everyone needs self-love. Different people use friends for various purposes. Some people have friends so that it becomes easier to love themselves. While others have them so that they can share their overflowing self-love with their friends. The problem lies where you have friends because you cannot love yourself. Remember, love isn’t a substitute for self-love; sooner or later, you must learn to love yourself first. If you don’t, you will quickly go friendless.
What happens when you start loving yourself without friends?
When you start loving yourself when you don’t have any friends, you soon become your own best friend. You start enjoying your company and consciously start doing things that elevate you and, thus, your life. You enter a phase of life where you can fulfill all your wishes, even your wildest ones. At this point, people love you and can’t stay away from you. So, becoming your own bestie lets you attract many more friends and people who truly love you.
Would you need friends once you start loving yourself?
When you start loving yourself, you are already your best friend. At this point, you have already become self-sufficient in terms of love. But love is something that the more you have, the better. You can create more love for yourself as you are full of self-love. But if you can share the love you have with others, it will multiply. This is why even when you love yourself, it’s a good idea not to isolate yourself. In fact, people will find you, love you, and always want to be with you.
Congratulations! You have now holistically learned how to love yourself when you don’t have any friends.
Make this article your guiding light in this journey. You can always revisit it at any point to refer to it and find your way ahead.
