Being Too Nice Can Be Counter-Productive

There is a growing need to learn how to stop being nice all the time.

When we have fallen in love with ourselves and are filled with self love, love starts overflowing out of us.

We start sharing our love with others and life becomes beautiful.

We can finally start being nice to people meaningfully and not just to be nice for the sake of it.

But this pleasantness cannot be infinite, else it could start becoming counter-productive for you.

People may start taking undue advantage of you and your important work could suffer.

All of this may ultimately affect your self love quotient.

You may thus finally be forced to stop being loving to people.

And when you can’t love others, it further depletes your self love.

Thus, it’s important to draw a healthy boundary for your love towards people.

It would be in the best interest of you and everybody else around you.

This means you have to figure out how to stop being nice to people all the time.

How To Stop Being Nice All The Time

Broadly speaking, there is only one way to learn how to stop being nice all the time.

You have to find the perfect balance where you neither hate people nor are you completely sugar-coated to suit their needs & preferences.

You have to be reasonable & polite but not too nice.

How do we strike this fine balance and learn how to stop being nice?

Be Free From Fear

The first thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to stop having any type of fear or pressure in our minds. 

Generally, as we live in a society, we tend to get fearful and take too much pressure from people who are stronger than us.

We are afraid that if they get angry or annoyed with us, they might turn against us or harm us in some way.

So, we are nice to them under pressure.

But when the reason for us being nice to somebody is our fear, things start working against us.

People sense fear in you and start taking undue advantage of you.

They try to put even more pressure on you to have their way with you.

Thus, you have to remove fear from your mind and stop being too nice to them.

This is how being free from fear helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

Eliminate Feelings of Inferiority 

The second thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to eliminate the feeling of inferiority or subordination within us.

We may feel that just because someone is richer than us or more successful than us, we need to be nice to them.

Being nice is not wrong but the underlying reason also matters.

If you are nice to someone for the wrong reasons you may overdo it which may hurt you later.

Just because someone is better than you in terms of money or position, it doesn’t mean you are inferior to them.

You may also be having many things that they don’t have, like peace of mind and love & compassion.

Thus, always consider yourself to be equal to everyone around you, if not superior to them.

When you think people are equal to you, you would stop being nice to them in an unhealthy amount.

Remember, being nice to someone in an abnormal amount also increases the expectations of that person.

And when you stop being nice to them, they notice it and take it to heart.

Thus, it’s better to be balanced in your behavior right from the start.

This is how eliminating feelings of inferiority from your mind helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

Stop Being A People Pleaser

The third thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to stop being a people pleaser.

The need for compliments and validation from others is what makes us a people pleaser. 

We keep trying to please people with our words and give them favors by going out of our way.

And before we know it we find ourselves in a loop that becomes too difficult to come out of.

We get too used to getting compliments from others and can’t say ‘no’ to them anymore, not even when we do it at a cost to ourselves.

It becomes a very unhealthy situation for you which is why you should quit being needy of compliments from others at the earliest.

This is where self love helps you a lot.

When you have self love within yourself, you don’t need compliments from others.

You are enough for yourself to keep yourself happy and content.

Thus, make sure that your self love quotient stays high at all times.

This is how giving up being a people pleaser helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

The above-given three reasons for being too nice to others are the basic things that you should put in order within yourself.

But, there are also things that you need to keep in mind while you deal with people in real time.

These things would tell you how to not be too nice to people when you are interacting with them face to face.

Let’s check them out.

Do Not Smile Too Much

The fourth thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to not smile too much.

The first thing that people notice in you when they meet you is your facial expression.

And if there is a bright exaggerated smile on your face, it is kind of an invitation to ask for a big favor.

Smile is a good thing but it’s too deceptive when done in excess.

It gives people the feeling that you are okay with what is happening even when it’s not so.

So, you must send the right message across.

When you meet people do not smile too much.

You don’t have to curtail your natural happiness but you should also not try to be too polite or too nice.

This would keep the other person in their senses regarding what to say and where not to go.

This is how having better control over your smile helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

Talk Less

The fifth thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to talk less.

Generally, the people who talk more are considered to be weak or push-overs.

When you talk more you say unnecessary things that may be the things that pull you down or the things that push the other person up.

People may use it to trap you and take undue advantage of you.

It’s not that people who talk more are bad or silly, it’s just that they should choose the people to whom they open their hearts very carefully.

Not everybody would understand you and take you and your conversations as cute.

Thus, talking less is an important step to stop being too nice to people.

This is how talking less helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

Do Not Offer Help

The sixth thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to not offer help as long as it’s not specifically asked for.

This is another drawback of talking more.

People who are too nice consider everyone their friend and are ready to offer help of any kind.

This makes people keep asking them for help so much so that their work and life suffer.

Hence, when in a meeting or conversation, a good thing to practice is not to promise or offer any kind of help on your own.

If & when the other person asks for a particular help specifically, we will see what to do.

But you shouldn’t be the one to offer any kind of favors, to start with.

This is how not offering to help helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

Learn To Say ‘No’

The seventh thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to learn to say ‘no’ when you can’t help the person.

Some people just can’t say ‘no’ to others.

They feel shy or embarrassed in disagreeing with people or rejecting their proposals or requests.

This should be very clear, there is no shame or embarrassment in saying ‘no’ when you are not in a position to say ‘yes’. 

It’s a matter of pride that you can stand up for yourself.

You have all the right in the world to take care of your interests and priorities and nobody can forcefully take favours from you.

If you can help the other person without hurting your interests, you should do it.

But you should not concede to the temptation to say yes or concede defeat at the hands of your habit of being too nice to people.

If you have something important to do, you should be able to put out a polite but firm ‘no’.

This is how learning to say ‘no’ helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

Do Not Feel Guilty

The eighth and last thing to do in learning how to stop being nice to people all the time is to not feel guilty for not being too nice.

People feel guilty for being “rude” to people and not behaving the way they used to do.

They feel that they have done something wrong by refusing to oblige to people’s requests for favors.

It’s not their fault as it is natural to feel this way when you have been too nice for too long.

But they need to realize that being too sweet isn’t healthy for anybody, especially them.

They need to draw the boundary somewhere at some point.

Thus, saying ‘no’ was something that had to be done and there is nothing to feel guilty about.

They need to realise that they have done enough for others unconditionally and now it’s time to love and favour yourself unconditionally.

This is how keeping yourself guilt-free helps you learn how to stop being nice all the time.

Love Within Healthy Boundaries

How to stop being nice all the time is an important personal skill today.

Love is a beautiful emotion but even love needs to be done within limits.

When the line is crossed, it starts becoming counter-productive to both sides.

The one that has the higher burden pays in the form of stress while the side that has a lower burden pays in the form of becoming weak & fragile.

Thus, being too nice is neither good for self love nor love.

By unbalancing love in your life, you also risk self love within yourself.

So, to protect your self love and to ensure you remain capable of loving others, you should learn how to stop being nice all the time.

When you find the right balance, things become beautiful again and life starts to sail smoothly once more.