Do you know the most essential pillar of a relationship?
Is it love, care, respect, or trust?
Here is the hint – It is fragile and takes a lot of time and effort to rebuild.
Yes, you guessed it right. It’s TRUST!
People always break it without knowing how to rebuild trust in a relationship.
It is a big reason why many relationships do not recover from setbacks.
In this article, we will learn all about trust in relationships. We will see what trust means, why it is essential, the significant reasons behind why it gets broken, and how to rebuild it.
After reading this article, I believe your relationship will be much more secure than it currently is.
So, let’s get started.
What is ‘Trust’ in Relationships?
In a relationship, when a partner trusts the other one, they believe their partner will never intentionally hurt them.
The word ‘intentionally’ is important here.
Trust doesn’t mean that you will never feel hurt in a relationship. It just means that your partner treats you like a part of themselves. They will try to protect you from bad experiences, including the ones directly related to them.
It means that they will never abandon you, lie to you, or cheat you.
The promise of trust is what holds a relationship together. It makes partners feel safe in each other’s company. Trust in a relationship helps many people achieve their life goals or dreams by being in a stable, supportive, and lovable relationship.
However, relationship trust has its downsides, too.
As we now know, trust is a delicate entity. Although you can work on and strengthen it, it has an invisible glass-like character that can easily break.
The good news is that it can be rebuilt with some time, patience, and effort.
So, if you broke your partner’s trust, you do not need to worry at all.
What you need to do is take a deep breath, commit yourself to resurrecting that trust, and take some focused steps.
Here is how you can rebuild the lost trust in your relationship.
How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship
Admit Your Mistake Without Giving Excuses
Establishing trust requires complete surrender and establishing proper accountability.
So, begin by being brutally honest and do not try to justify or give reasons for your mistake.
Let Them Process Their Pain
When trust breaks, the heart cries.
Do not expect forgiveness instantly or in the short term.
Let your partner express themselves, whether through anger, sadness, or even distance.
Give A Genuine Apology
An apology for breaking trust is necessary, but even more important is that it is heartfelt.
Show empathy and regret and take full responsibility for endangering the relationship.
Understand the consequences of your actions and be genuinely sorry.
Tell them – “I am sorry that I hurt you.”
Answer Questions Transparently
Rebuilding trust entails giving complex answers honestly and transparently.
If they have questions about what happened, answer them calmly and not with frustration.
Do not try to hide anything, as it may derail the rebuilding process of trust.
Be Willing To Change Behaviour
When you break trust in a relationship, words can only restart rebuilding it.
So, show your commitment to self-improvement and back it up with action.
Show growth by actively changing the habit that led to breaking the trust.
Ask What They Need To Feel Safe Again
Do not try to guess what will make them feel better.
Ask them directly – “What will help you start to feel safe with me again.”
Respect their needs even if they seem inconvenient.
To restore trust in the relationship, your partner must feel like they used to.
Create New Boundaries Together
New beginnings need new rules.
Draw boundaries to protect the relationship by mutually agreeing on them. Ensure these boundaries are both practical and beneficial.
Make rules on subjects like better communication, no secret-keeping, etc.
Show Up With Consistency
Rebuilding trust in a relationship needs consistent and dedicated actions.
You don’t have to make big promises and go after them; even little things matter.
What’s important is not to snap out.
Accept That Rebuilding Takes Time
Rebuilding something as delicate as trust in relationships takes time and patience.
So, do not tell them to “get over it.”
Even though some days may feel like setbacks, believe you are moving forward. It will make a big difference!
Be Open To Counseling or Mediation
The trust-rebuilding phase can sometimes make you start feeling lonely.
If you need, get help from a professional therapist to work through the resentment, guilt, and confusion.
Getting external help also shows your commitment to self-improvement and rebuilding trust.
Practice Radical Honesty Going Forward
Prioritise transparency over discomfort.
Talk clearly about how you feel, what you’re doing, and where you struggle.
Any positive change brings challenges, and being vocal about them helps the trust-building process.
Make Sure Trust Is A Two-Way Effort
Even though the trust-breaker must work more, the other partner must join in.
Intimacy and reconnection need both partners and trust-building is a shared journey.
It’s A Difficult Journey, But Worth It
Remember, rebuilding trust might take a greater effort than what you had to put in at the beginning of the relationship. It might also feel labored, slow-moving, and even overwhelming at times.
But recalling what’s at stake will give you the strength to keep moving.
Ask for your partner’s active support and companionship on the journey. When you successfully rebuild trust, the relationship will feel stronger.
FAQs
Are trust issues a red flag?
Yes, trust issues are a red flag for a relationship. If you find it difficult to trust your partner or vice versa, a relationship may not be possible. A lack of trust might quickly turn the relationship into a toxic one. But if you and your partner feel you can work through it, you must try it.
Can you be in love with someone but not trust them?
Yes, you may be in love with someone but not trust them. Such a relationship runs the risk of becoming toxic or ending pretty quickly. Love is not enough for a relationship; it also needs trust to keep it going and growing. If you genuinely love your partner, you must be willing to work towards building trust.
How to tell someone you don't trust them nicely?
A nice way to tell your partner you don’t trust them is to use “I” instead of “You” statements. For example, you can say – “I’ve had some experiences that make me extra cautious, so I take things slow when it comes to trust.” It’s a delicate and balancing act, but you can do it thoughtfully.
Should you end a relationship if there is no trust?
If you haven’t become too emotionally involved and believe trust cannot be restored, ending the relationship is the safer bet. But if you love the person and both you and your partner are willing to put in efforts to rebuild trust, you should hold onto the relationship for some time.
If it’s only you who wants to give it a try, that’s perfectly fine, too.
How do you build trust after lying?
Sometimes, small lies in a relationship can keep it going. But big lies that affect the partners in a big way can jolt the trust factor and threaten the relationship. To build trust after lying, you must apologize and promise not to repeat it, let your partner express disappointment, and patiently wait for them to start feeling normal again.
You must also show visible self-improvement so your partner can trust you again.
How long does it take to build trust in a relationship?
The time it takes to (re)build trust depends on the gravity of your mistake, the intensity of hurt your partner felt, and the honesty and speed with which you show self-improvement. Trust between partners recovers from more minor mistakes faster. But for graver mistakes, rebuilding trust can take more than a year (sometimes even more).
