Can You Forgive Someone and Still Be Hurt? 3 Key Reasons Why

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Yes, It’s Possible

Can you forgive someone and still be hurt?

Yes, it’s very much possible.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Some people do not learn to forgive and they stay mad at people forever.

But people with big hearts forgive easily and instantly.

But some people do forgive others but still feel hurt.

They know that holding grudges isn’t good for them or for the ones against whom they hold it.

So, in the expectation that forgiveness will make their life easier, they somehow manage to forgive people.

But then they notice that their forgiveness hasn’t brought the desired outcome.

They still feel hurt and they don’t know what else they can do to make themselves feel better.

So, the question is how can you forgive someone and still be hurt?

How Can You Forgive Someone And Still Be Hurt

can you forgive someone and still be hurt

There are three possible explanations behind the question ‘How can you forgive someone and still be hurt’.

You Haven’t Forgiven Them

The first possible explanation behind ‘How can you forgive someone and still be hurt’ is that you have still not forgiven the person.

When you forgive a person and still feel hurt, it may mean that you have not forgiven him at all.

It’s possible that you forgave him just for the sake of it and without actually meaning it.

You may do this to become free of their pressure or criticism.

You may also want to showcase your image as a forgiver which is why you acted to have forgiven him.

Thus, you may have forgiven him for public eyes but subconsciously you still hold grudges against him for hurting you.

It’s also possible that you do not know how to forgive in the true sense of the word.

You thought that by merely saying that you have forgiven the concerned person, you will forgive him.

But the truth remains that it takes a lot more than just words to forgive someone.

It needs you to open up your mind and your heart.

You need to see the point behind forgiving someone which is to free yourself and your culprit so that you both can continue to live a normal life.

You don’t want to remain scarred for life which is why you willingly decide to forgive the other person.

So, you need to either truly and whole-heartedly forgive the culprit or you need to learn how to forgive someone in the true sense of the word.

If you have truly forgiven someone, you will not feel hurt anymore.

So, how can you forgive someone and still be hurt?

You can be hurt if you haven’t truly forgiven them.

Forgiveness Happens With A Time Lag

can you forgive someone and still be hurt

The second possible explanation behind ‘How can you forgive someone and still be hurt’ is that the effect of forgiveness may come with a lag.

Human beings are not machines who can press a button to start or end an emotion.

Whenever you forgive someone, it may take some time for its effect to settle in and start showing.

So, when you forgive someone, the process of forgiveness starts within you which may take some time to complete.

It’s like you open the doors but wait for forgiveness to pass through them.

Many times forgiveness isn’t completely in our control hence it may take a little more time than what we had expected.

When the process gets completed, depends on how hurt were you at the time of granting forgiveness.

If you were still really hurt, it may take some more time for the effect of your forgiveness to settle in.

Until this moment, you may still feel hurt by the concerned person or what he did to you.

So, you need to be patient with the natural process of forgiveness.

One thing you can do is to keep praying for the process to get completed soon.

When the natural process of forgiveness is completed, you won’t feel hurt anymore.

So, how can you forgive someone and still be hurt?

You can be hurt because forgiveness happens with a time lag.

The Loss May Still Be Hurtful

The third and final possible explanation behind ‘How can you forgive someone and still be hurt’ is that you may have forgiven the culprit but the loss may still be hurtful.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that the damage that was done also gets reversed.

Some losses can neither be reversed nor compensated for.

You have to live with them for life.

For example, if you lose someone dear to you, it’s a loss that can never be reversed.

So, although you may have forgiven the person, the resultant loss created a permanent painful void in your life.

When there is no apparent way to solve a problem, the only possible solution is to ensure that it doesn’t happen to anyone else.

Thus, you can share your story and make people aware of it.

Your constant effort in the right direction may not be able to fill that void but it will make you feel a lot better for two reasons.

First, when you put your sorrow out there, you feel a lot more lighter inside.

And second, when the awareness spread by you benefits others, you feel much better and less hurt.

Thus, do things you think can reduce the pain of your loss, and live with the hope that the pain reduces with each passing day to finally end one day.

So, how can you forgive someone and still be hurt?

You can still be hurt because the loss may still be hurtful.

Forgive And Minimise The Pain

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The question ‘Can you forgive someone and still be hurt’ is obvious.

But the answer should not demotivate you.

Forgiveness is a real strength and you should continue to hold on to it.

Do not decide to go back on your decision to forgive people just because it still hurts.

It’s because nothing can be more painful than when you are trapped in holding grudges against people.

So, forgive people and wait for the day when it stops hurting completely.

When it stops hurting, it’s a sign that you are healed and ready to love yourself unconditionally once again.

And when you fill your life with self-love again, life will start feeling awesome once more.

So, now that you know the answer to ‘how can you forgive someone and still be hurt’, work on those reasons and make life fabulous again.

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