Silent Treatments Are Brutal

Is your boyfriend giving you the silent treatment?

Are you wondering, “How to deal with silent treatment from boyfriend?”

Being at the receiving end of a silent treatment is a tricky situation in a relationship. But the good news is that it has a simple yet powerful way to deal with it.

And the best part is that you can break out of the cold treatment without hurting the relationship.

Silent treatment is when your boyfriend is using silence as a weapon to have his way with you. He plans not to talk to you till you succumb to the pressure and agree to his demands.

There are subtle signs to confirm you are getting silent treatment from your boyfriend. 

If your boyfriend isn’t talking to you like he usually does, or ignoring your calls and SMSs, or getting irritated when you try hard to speak to him, he is giving you the silent treatment.

He may be giving you the silent treatment for one or more reasons. 

He may be pressuring you to act in a certain way. For example, he may want you to let him spend more time with his friends. Or he may be trying to make you feel guilty for a recent situation by making you “think.” He may also be trying to gain the upper hand in the relationship and become more dominant by using pressure tactics.

But apart from all the mind games and power tussles, it’s also possible that your boyfriend is genuinely hurt by something you did. He may not be in a position to talk, and his present state may appear like a ‘silent treatment’ to you.

Silent treatment isn’t good for the relationship. In a relationship, differences should be resolved through love, understanding, and communication, not manipulation or silent battlegrounds.

Silent treatments can create misunderstandings and distance between partners. A silent treatment amounts to emotional unavailability and can make the partner feel unimportant and lonely. If the silent treatment lasts too long, it can also erode trust and threaten the relationship.

I can understand all the confusion, self-doubt, and pain you must be going through right now. When understanding gives way to indifference in a relationship, it’s natural to feel these negative feelings.

But the good news is that there is an easy way to end your boyfriend’s silent treatment.

I will give you three simple steps to follow. I will explain each of them in detail and show you how to put them into practice. 

These helpful ways will not only end the silent treatment you are getting but will also make your boyfriend value you more than before.

Let’s begin!

How To Deal With Silent Treatment From Boyfriend

Do not “yield” to the pressure

When your boyfriend is giving you the silent treatment, you must not “yield” to the pressure.

“Yielding” to the pressure means agreeing to what your boyfriend wants from you just because he isn’t talking to you. 

You must not appear helpless or desperate, show that you miss him immensely, or be willing to do anything to get him to talk to you again.

Relationships are about love, but if your boyfriend doesn’t keep it that way, you should think differently, too.

When you don’t succumb to their pressure tactics, their plan will fail, and they will realise their mistake. But if you “yielded,” silent treatments will become a weapon for him, which he might use more often to make you keep yielding to his demands.

The relationship will no longer be about love but about fulfilling your boyfriend’s wishes, many of which will be unreasonable or even harsh. 

To learn not to “yield” to silent treatments, you must make it a point to let ‘love’ and not ‘pressure’ drive the relationship. 

Thus, even if your boyfriend has a genuine need like ‘intimacy,’ if he uses silent treatment, make it a point to say ‘No.’ 

Explain to him that you are not saying ‘no’ to intimacy but to the silent treatment because it’s not the right way. A relationship should be based on understanding and convincing each other rather than using manipulative tactics.

If you haven’t mastered the art of saying ‘No’ itself, doing so under pressure might feel a lot more difficult.

But the truth is that your relationship might go down the wrong way if you don’t draw positive boundaries.

Saying ‘no’ in the face of a silent treatment will not only protect your individuality but also safeguard your dignity. It will send across a strong message to your boyfriend that it’s NOT OKAY to take you for granted.

It’s never too late to start doing the right things in a relationship. Even if you yielded to silent treatments once or twice, it’s not the end of the world. 

You can start taking control of the situation the next time your boyfriend tries to give you the silent treatment.

Not yielding to your boyfriend’s manipulative silent treatment will make you feel powerful again. 

For a moment or two, you may feel you are “sabotaging” the relationship, but the truth will be quite the opposite. Remember: Sometimes, to protect a relationship and bring it on the right path, you might have to do some difficult things. 

Use reverse psychology

The second thing you need to do is to use reverse psychology.

Using reverse psychology when your boyfriend gives you a silent treatment means acting like it doesn’t bother you. On the contrary, you appear more mad than what your boyfriend seems to you.

If he doesn’t talk to you with a straight face, be okay with it and do it better than him. If he avoids you, stay out of his sight for longer than he expects. You may behave normally with others when he’s watching, but not be your usual self when dealing with him.

Using reverse psychology for silent treatment will take your boyfriend by surprise. He might start doubting his plan of giving you the cold shoulder. He may even start getting afraid of losing you.

All these occurrences might signal the end of his silent treatment and his growing restlessness for normalcy in the relationship.

For reverse psychology to succeed, you will always have to stay one step ahead of your boyfriend.

You have to check three boxes—A noticeable behaviour change, where you appear less interested in talking to him. Next, giving more importance to other things that show you are “busy.” Finally, creating a little more ‘distance’ with him than usual, where you may even get out of his sight for a bit.

Remember to be subtle. The visible change in you, instead of being over the top, should only be a tad greater than what your boyfriend might be doing.

Balance will remain a challenge, and you must guard against overdoing things.

Another challenge you might face is ‘relationship ethics.’ You may feel like you are hurting or even fooling your partner.

At such moments, you must remind yourself of the reason why you are using reverse psychology—not to hurt your boyfriend but to make him realise how silent treatment feels. 

It wasn’t you who started the silent treatment, but it must be you who ends it forever in the interest of the relationship. It’s like giving a child the taste of his own medicine so that he learns to behave.

Remember: To have a healthy relationship with mutual respect, sometimes giving your partner a bitter pill is the only answer.

It’s possible you are not like your partner, and using reverse psychology and matching your boyfriend’s silent treatment feels difficult for you. 

In that case, you can keep it to a minimum—do not show that the silent treatment bothers you. It will work too, although the impact may take a little more time to show.

With reverse psychology, you may feel like you are the “Bigger Trickster” in the relationship, but the truth is that you are the smart one. What you have done is lay down the ground rules, bring your boyfriend back on the right path, and prepare the ground for a long-term, stable, loving relationship.

Clear Misunderstandings

The final thing you need to do is clear up any misunderstandings with your boyfriend.

After your boyfriend has realised his mistake and stopped with the silent treatment, you must talk honestly about a few things. These are:

The issue due to which your boyfriend gave you the silent treatment

The perils of silent treatment in a relationship

Your intention behind your response to the silent treatment

When you sit to clear these misunderstandings, all the power tussles, mind games, and manipulation must be left behind. The only things left must be two honest people who love each other and are willing to talk through their relationship differences.

Clearing all the misunderstandings will not only bring you closer together but also strengthen the relationship like never before. 

Important issues will be resolved, functional boundaries will be established, and mutual understanding and respect will deepen. All these things will strengthen the core of your relationship.

After all the misunderstandings are cleared, your relationship will feel alive and kicking again!

Here is how to do it practically: Choose a time and place that are suitable for both of you. Prepare yourself for a detailed heart-to-heart conversation. Also, remember to be honest and bold enough to express yourself clearly to your boyfriend.

About the issue that led to the silent treatment—If you do not agree to your boyfriend’s demand, tell him and explain the reason behind it. 

For example, if he wants to spend more time with his friends instead of you, explain that you feel lonely or that it won’t give you enough time to spend together. If it’s a genuine cause mixed with honest emotions, your boyfriend would get it.

Next, talk to your boyfriend about why silent treatment isn’t right in a relationship. Explain how it’s a manipulative tactic that makes him emotionally unavailable and makes you feel unimportant and hurt. Tell him how it would increase the distance between you and threaten the relationship.

Make sure he understands and agrees never to use silent treatments or any such strategies again in the relationship.

Finally, tell him how you did not want to give him the same cold treatment but had to do it in the interest of the relationship. 

Ensure that by the end of the conversation, all the grudges, resentments, and misunderstandings seem to have melted away, and you feel much closer than ever before.

It may feel tempting to move ahead without clearing misunderstandings in the relationship. After all, the silent treatment is already over.

But it’s important to understand that, with misunderstandings still brewing, the issue of silent treatment may keep recurring. 

The relationship might get caught up in vicious loops of silent treatments and emotional distance that might feel harder and harder to break. 

Thus, timely and honest communication that clears up any misunderstandings is essential, even if the silent treatment has already ended.

Even if you fail to communicate immediately after the silent treatment ends, remember to clear up any misunderstandings later, whenever you get the time.

Clearing the misunderstandings will make you feel relieved. You would no longer feel like a “trickster” who uses reverse psychology on your partner, but a wise woman who knows how to save and grow your relationship. 

Wield Power, Save Your Relationship

Silence is louder than words, which is why silent treatments in relationships are brutal. They not only make you feel ignored and lonely but also deeply disrespected and hurt.

No mistake in a relationship deserves a silent treatment. What it deserves is love, understanding, and forgiveness. 

And when you haven’t even done anything wrong, a silent treatment may feel like being under the knife for no reason at all.

If your boyfriend is giving you the cold shoulder, the first thing you need to do is to know that it’s not your fault. 

You don’t have to give in to the pressure just because you love him. 

You must fight for yourself and your relationship, even if it means going against your partner for a while. Use reverse psychology as your weapon to counter the silent treatment by your boyfriend. Be okay with his indifference and start calling the shots!

Only when he withdraws the silent treatment, clear all the misunderstandings and grudges with your partner.

Remember: Relationships are about love and expression. If you accept silent treatment, it might make disrespect and emotional distance the new normal.