Your Parents Are Your Responsibility

Have one or both of your parents started hoarding things from their past?

Are you seeking an answer to ‘How to help a hoarder parent’?

If so, I must say that your parents are lucky to have you.

We did not know life or how to solve our problems when we were small.

But it was our parents who took excellent care of us.

They ensured we steered through all the small and big obstacles we faced.

So, we love them and want to reciprocate by taking even better care of them as they age.

Our parents have to go through many problems as they grow older.

One of these problems is becoming a hoarder of their old stuff.

When they grow old, nostalgia may start getting the better of them.

They may tend to collect too much stuff as souvenirs of their memories.

You may be correct in justifying many of these things, but the habit of hoarding everything might become troublesome for them and, thus, for you.

It may keep them overwhelmed with memories, thus making them sad.

You must help them eliminate the habit of hoarding old and new stuff.

To do this, you must learn how to help a hoarder parent.

So, let’s find out how you can do this.

How To Help A Hoarder Parent

Learning how to help a hoarder parent requires going through 5 simple steps.

Talk To Your Hoarding Parent

The first step in learning how to help a hoarder parent is to talk to them about it.

Changes in a person with age are subtle and might go unnoticed.

So, your parents may start hoarding things without even realizing it.

Thus, it would help if you made them aware of this behavioral change.

It’s possible that once they realize it, they will stop hoarding new things and start clearing out the things they have hoarded until then.

So, tell them when they started hoarding things and why you think they started doing it in the first place.

Most of the time, hoarding, which comes with growing age, happens because people start trying too hard to hold on to life.

They begin to feel insecure when they start growing older.

The hoarding problem may also appear in one of your parents after they have lost their partner.

Hoarding things may also be a sign of your parent’s weakening memory.

Discuss the topic at length with them so that you can come up with a wise solution.

This open talk may solve the issue here itself.

When you talk to your parents, you have completed the first step in learning how to help a hoarder parent.

Tell Them About The Possible Repercussions

The second step in learning how to help a hoarder parent is to make them aware of the possible repercussions of the habit of hoarding.

Many times, just talking about it or discussing it may not be enough to find a solution. 

Your hoarding parent may already know about it, but they may not think of it as a problem.

They may look at it casually and as a way to stay connected to their past.

So, you may have to move further and make them aware of the possible repercussions of hoarding things.

Tell them that keeping things from the past is not wrong, but only when done in the right amount.

Hoarding too many things from almost every memory will trap them in the past.

It will create a Tsunami of memories which will overwhelm them and keep them miserable.

Good or bad, the past is not the place to live for any reason and at any age.

Tell them their most significant souvenir from the past is you, which should be enough for them to live.

Also, harness their emotions by letting them know it pains you to see them in that condition.

Inform them that hoarding stuff from the past may turn into a mental health issue before they know it.

Convince them in every possible way to drop their habit of hoarding things.

Please give them the confidence to live happily in the present.

They may respond to it by giving up their habit of hoarding.

By discussing the possible repercussions with your parents, you have completed the next step in learning how to help a hoarder parent.

Keep Them Happy And Invested In The Present Moment

The third step in learning how to help a hoarder parent is to keep them happy in the present.

Knowing the possible repercussions and responding to your emotional appeal, your parent might stop hoarding stuff.

But remember that it’s a habit that can come back anytime.

If your hoarding parent still doesn’t respond to your call, try keeping them happy and in the present moment as far as possible.

The seed of the problem of hoarding stuff lies in being unhappy in the present.

If you can take care of it, your parent will naturally forget about hoarding things from the past.

In short, if you can keep them happy, they will stop accumulating and start living their lives fully.

To make them happy, find and remove the leading cause of their unhappiness.

But if you can’t do so, recall what made your parents happy when they were younger.

It may be music, traveling, reading, or anything else.

So, try to rekindle your hoarding parent’s older hobbies.

You can also help them find new and exciting hobbies.

For example, you can make them interested in collecting coins or stamps.

This way, the ‘habit of hoarding’ may be effortlessly and quickly replaced by the ‘hobby of collection.’ 

Thus, it can serve as a potent way to execute how to help a hoarder parent.

So, once you find some likable and exciting hobbies for your parents, tactfully nudge them into pursuing them.

You can contact one of their friends and ask for their help.

When your hoarding parent becomes happy again, they will start living in the present.

Thus, they will give up their hoarding ways forever.

When you start keeping your parents happy, you have completed the next step in learning how to help a hoarder parent.

Increase The Distance Between Your Parent And Their Hoarded Things

The fourth step in learning how to help a hoarder parent is to increase the distance between your hoarding parent and their hoarded stuff.

Making your hoarding parent happy and keeping them in the present is an outstanding achievement.

But the work isn’t entirely done yet.

They may not be hoarding stuff right now, but they may still feel attached to the things they have hoarded over time.

It would help if you got rid of all that stuff to rid them of their hoarding habit.

But you cannot be impatient or forceful in executing this plan.

So, as you feel your hoarding parents are getting happier, keep distancing each piece of their hoarded stuff from them individually.

Ensure they do not notice that some of their “preserved” stuff is no longer around them.

Keep collecting all these hoarded things in a dedicated place and wait for all the unnecessary stuff to get collected.

When this happens, your hoarding parent will have learned to stay happy without all that hoarded stuff.

So, they would have given up their hoarding habit and attachment to all the hoarded stuff.

When you have distanced your parent from their hoarded things, you have completed the next step in learning how to help a hoarder parent.

Get The Hoarded Things Donated Through Your Parent

The fifth step in learning how to help a hoarder parent is to get all the hoarded or collected stuff donated by your hoarding parent.

You have collected all the hoarded stuff, and now it’s time to get rid of it.

It’s an important step that will complete learning how to help a hoarder parent.

But it should not make you do something wrong in haste.

So, do not try to eliminate all the hoarded things yourself by keeping your parents in the dark about it.

First of all, it would be unfair to your parents if you did so, as they deserve to know about the things they have collected in the past.

Next, if you get rid of all the hoarded stuff yourself, the primary purpose of relieving your parents of that stuff will be lost forever.

It may also backfire if and when your hoarding parent comes to you asking about all that stuff.

They would feel cheated, which might push them back into hoarding even more things than before.

So, you must ensure that getting rid of the hoarded stuff happens with full awareness and consent from your parents.

So, please wait until you think your hoarding parent is ready to part ways from the stuff they had hoarded.

And when you feel the time is right, persuasively ask them to donate the hoarded stuff.

Since they feel happier and more secure, they should be willing to do it now.

Donating the hoarded stuff is also a noble cause, as it will benefit people experiencing homelessness who desperately need various things.

Your parents will do it because they are in a much better condition to get rid of their hoarded stuff.

When you have donated the hoarded things through your parents, you have completed the final step in learning how to help a hoarder parent.

Consult An Expert: A Caveat To Consider

Although the above steps regarding how to help a hoarder parent may yield the desired results, you should consider meeting an expert if necessary.

Thus, if you feel that your plan isn’t working and you need external help, do not hesitate to seek it at any point.

There are dedicated and experienced experts in the field who are well-researched and knowledgeable in age-related issues like hoarding.

They also have the necessary skills, tools, and technology to help your hoarding parent escape that trap.

Your efforts, together with the help of these professionals, will work wonders for your hoarding parent.

They will give up hoarding of things and start living in the moment again.

Thus, consulting an expert in the area can be crucial in learning how to help a hoarder parent.

Keep Your Parents Healthy & Happy

‘How to help a hoarder parent’ is a question you need to ask yourself if you care about your parent’s mental health.

It’s because hoarding stuff may be an early sign of memory-related conditions in your parents.

Thus, please do not take it lightly.

Do whatever you can, and consult an expert if things seem difficult or out of control.

Our parents are like living gods to us; we should do whatever it takes to keep them healthy and ensure their long and happy lives. 

And when they are happy, you will love yourself for being the reason behind their health and happiness.

It will fill your life with love and self-love and make it everything you want.

So, learn how to help a hoarder parent and surround yourself with all the love you deserve.