Vulnerability Is A Strength

Being vulnerable in a relationship means having the strength to expose your weak side to your partner. 

For example, talking about your fears, struggles, and failures. You feel no hesitancy about crying in front of your partner. In fact, crying in front of them makes you stronger, emotionally and mentally. 

Being vulnerable can also play a significant role in deepening understanding and strengthening the bond with your partner.

So, the question is: Should you stop being vulnerable in your relationship?

The answer is ‘No.’ 

Vulnerability should never be given up altogether in a relationship, as it can create mental health issues and create a permanent “wall” in the relationship.

However, if you feel too volatile emotionally, you should consider reducing it as it can make you appear emotionally too needy, hence overwhelming your partner.

Let’s look at some steps to be less vulnerable in a relationship.

How To Stop Being Vulnerable In A Relationship

Look for signs of unhealthily high vulnerability

Some signs of unhealthily high vulnerability in a relationship can be:

• It makes your partner feel overwhelmed or frustrated.

• They start to ignore you or communicate with you, building an invisible wall in the relationship.

•  You yourself feel that you are being too vulnerable or emotionally needy in the relationship, and it is increasing every day, making you emotionally weaker.

If you notice any of the above signs, you can infer that you are being too vulnerable in your relationship and need to do something about it.

Find out the reason behind your extreme vulnerability

Some possible reasons behind your high vulnerability can be:

• Experiencing overwhelming, out-of-control negative emotions, such as fear, insecurity, pain, or trauma due to a troubled past.

• Emotional overdependence on your partner.

• It began as healthy communication and self-expression in the relationship, but spiralled out of control.

Getting to the root cause can help find the right solution.

Ask for help if needed

If the reason for your over-vulnerability is the first in the list of possible reasons, i.e., you experience overwhelming emotions due to a complicated past, you must consider getting expert help. 

Addressing past wounds through therapy will not only help you release unhealthy negative emotions safely but also save your relationship from emotional burnout.

Share your feelings with other loved ones

Sometimes, overburdening your partner with all your emotions can be counterproductive. Thus, you must “spread the load” by sharing some of your heavy feelings with your close friends and family. 

Doing so will help release your frustrations without making you appear too vulnerable in your relationship.

Keep a diary or journal for your vulnerable emotions

If you don’t have any close friends or can’t talk about your feelings to your family, you can also confide in a secret notebook. 

Talking about your vulnerabilities in a diary can work equally well. It helps release your emotionally “charged emotions” without bothering anyone.

Pick and choose the vulnerabilities you want to share with your partner

You must reserve some of your vulnerabilities for your partner. Doing so is essential to feeling close and connected to your partner, helping the relationship move smoothly.

The vulnerabilities you should share with your partner include:

• Some of your personal struggles (which may or may not be similar to what your partner might be going through)

• Your relationship needs, for example, might be asking your partner to spend more time with you when you feel lonely.

• Any other vulnerabilities that make you feel relieved without overwhelming your partner or hurting the relationship.

Your Emotions are Valid

Having emotions is normal, and sharing them with your partner is not only healthy but also essential. Thus, you should not stop being vulnerable in your relationship. 

But you must consider spreading your vulnerabilities among different people—your partner, friends, family, therapist, or your daily diary/journal.

But if your partner still ignores you, feels frustrated by your emotional release, or ridicules you, you may be in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable and potentially toxic partner.

If this is the case, you must protect your emotional health, show self-love, and walk away from such a relationship. 

Remember: All your emotions are valid. If your partner can’t handle them, you are probably with the wrong person.